


Feels Like Home

by Mendeia



Series: The Death-Knell of Silence [4]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Family, Family Angst, Gen, Post-Canon, Rehabilitation, Usagi Yojimbo universe as portrayed in TMNT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-13 13:20:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11185953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mendeia/pseuds/Mendeia
Summary: The Death-Knell of Silence Part 4: Splinter awakens in the palace at Edo to find that much has changed in the months since he first took ill. With his sons scattered and acting very strangely, it will take all his will and discipline to restore the honor and cohesion of the Hamato Clan if they are to have any chance of continuing to be a family.





	1. Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday everyone!
> 
> Welcome to Act 4. Time to start getting some answers, and time for the rest of the Hamato Clan to make some choices. For those whose hearts I've broken up to this point, I hope this will give you some solace. Maybe not right away. But soon.
> 
> Enjoy!

Hamato Splinter had been dreaming without end for longer than he could recall.

He had wandered the paths of memory in a haze, revisiting things that had happened and things that had never happened and things that had almost happened, again and again. He had touched the future and let his heart dwell in the past. He sang in a garden with Tang Shen and he shared a scrounged dinner with Hamato Yoshi as himself and not as the pet rat they had known.

He trained with his sons and he battled at their sides against their foes. They emerged victorious or they fell and failed or the battles vanished in a rush of clouds and uncertainty.

Until slowly the dreams and visions changed.

The scenes of four turtles and their father sitting together happily began to fade, replaced with empty rooms and barren tables.

Four turtles battling in formation became three, became two, became one.

Four turtles united as points of light in the sky dimmed until the sky was dark.

And Splinter began to come back to himself, though he could take no action but let the dreams carry him and try to mark well what they showed.

It felt to him that it took another eternity before at last his mind was clear and his own.

It was one of those pleasant dreams where he was training beside his beloved Master Yoshi, so he did not bother to question it; he simply relished the presence of the human who meant everything.

But Yoshi paused after only a few moments and stared at him.

"Splinter. You cannot be permitted to forget. You are the last hope."

Splinter blinked. "What do you mean, Master?"

"Observe, Splinter. Look and understand."

Yoshi began to fade.

"Master!" Splinter cried out.

But the scene dissolved into a new one.

He stood on a grassy hill far above the rest of the forest. The sun was warm on his back, but the shade of the enormous tree at the crown of the rise cast an inviting, welcome shadow. He stepped under the branches of the tree and marveled at them, at their vitality, their strength. Nothing could have cut a single limb from the trunk that was so strong.

But then a cold wind began to blow. The sky changed from blue to grey as the world shifted.

Suddenly the trunk of the tree, once vibrantly brown, began to fade. Bark started to peel off. Leaves fell prematurely.

And those solid branches creaked – and cracked.

Before his eyes, one, then another dropped from the tree, shorn off by a weakness that seemed to grow from within. No lightning had struck, no saws tore at them, but they grew thin and frail and they fell.

Somehow, he knew if the sun came back, the tree would survive.

But the sky stayed stubbornly dark, and growing darker.

_Beware the easiest path, for it lies. And darkness will engulf it._

The tree crumbled to nothing.

-==OOO==-

Splinter opened his eyes slowly, taking in the sun-lit, smooth beams above him and the scent of sandalwood. The soft sound of birds reached him on a light breeze.

He pushed back the heavy coverlet and sat up, finding himself in a fine, lovely room.

And he was not alone.

A squirrel person, more child than adult, scuttled to his side before quickly dropping to the floor, face pressed to his hands.

"Hamato-sama, you are awake! Do you know me today?"

Splinter frowned. "I do not seem to recognize you. But you know me?"

"Very well, Hamato-sama. I have been caring for you in your illness." There was a pause, then, "Please do not feel shame for your lack of recognition. It is no dishonor that our medicines worked strangely upon you and robbed you of your clear mind for so long."

"How long have I been here? And what is this place?"

"This is the palace of the Shogun in Edo. You have been here for many weeks, Hamato-sama. In two cycles of the moon, spring will be upon us."

Splinter considered – he remembered this dimension, of course, and he remembered living in the Daimyo's castle in his han far from Edo during the autumn as he recovered from the poison that had nearly killed him. Still, that meant he had no memories for at least a few months. How had he lost so much time?

"You say that the medicines used to cure me resulted in something strange?"

"Yes, Hamato-sama. The healers of Edo were able to save you from a terrible poison and the illness that followed it, but for many, many weeks you have not always known where you were or understood what was said."

Splinter did not let out a breath of frustration, but he did lean closer to the boy. "Please sit up. Can you tell me your name? I wish to thank you properly for your care."

The squirrel boy rose and sat on his calves, but never lifted his eyes to Splinter's. "I am Fuku, servant to Hamato-sama."

"Then I thank you, Fuku-san, for your kindness and your obvious attention and diligence. I am certain I have not been an easy patient for you."

Fuku lifted his shoulders very slightly. "It is my honor to serve."

"Still, I apologize for any trouble I caused you, even unknowingly."

Fuku bowed again. "Thank you, Hamato-sama. You are too generous."

"Now," Splinter said. "Can you tell me anything about my sons?"

Fuku folded his hands. "Hamato Leonardo-sama is much in favor with the Shogun. He has shown great honor and has proven his strength and loyalty in many bouts against the Shogun's own samurai. It was he who arranged for your care, Hamato-sama."

"I would expect no less of Leonardo. What of the others?"

Fuku gave the slightest twitch. "I...know only a little, Hamato-sama."

"That is all right. Your small amount is vast compared to my own ignorance."

Fuku nodded. "Hamato Raphael-san sends messages to Edo sometimes, though I do not know their full contents. Hamato Leonardo-sama has read them aloud to you while you were ill, and from the little I could not help but hear, he seems well and strong. He also spoke of Hamato Michelangelo-san in good health."

"I'm glad to hear that," Splinter said, keeping his demeanor and his words gentle while inside he railed at the lack of detail. "And what of Donatello?"

Fuku's head came up, eyes wide as if in panic. At once he dropped back down. "Hamato-sama…I...forgive me!"

"If you tell me the truth," Splinter said, putting as much coaxing warmth into his tone as he could, "I will ensure you are not punished. You have nothing to fear from me, Fuku-san."

"The one called Donatello was...banished."

"Banished!" Splinter recoiled. "Why? And by whom?"

"The order came from Hamato Leonardo-sama, enforced by the Shogun himself. But…"

"What is it? Tell me, please."

"...It was you yourself who first cast him out."

Splinter's heart turned to ice. "I did...what?"

"The one called Donatello came to visit when you were newly in the palace. I had only that day been called into your service, Hamato-sama. You...the medicines were too strong and…"

Splinter held up a hand. "I take it I was hallucinating?"

"Yes, Hamato-sama."

"What exactly occurred?"

"You forbade the one called Donatello from entering your presence under any circumstances. And...when Hamato Leonardo-sama asked if you wished to cast him from your Clan, you told him to act as if you had done so until you reached a final decision."

The ice in Splinter's heart spread with a painful crack. _I have cast out my own son._

_While another son lives in riches and no longer guards his brothers._

_And two other sons are alone in a strange world._

_I must begin to repair things at once._

Splinter brought his feelings into order with iron control. "Am I well enough to leave this room, Fuku-san?"

"Yes, Hamato-sama, but you should not be seen in your bed-kimono. I can order a fresh one at once."

"Yes, please, and quickly. I must see Leonardo as soon as possible."

Fuku crawled backwards a few steps before getting to his feet. "I will run like eagles, and I will bring you to Hamato Leonardo-sama myself."

And he dashed through the door.

Splinter took a deep breath.

_Master Yoshi. What has become of my family? Of my sons?_

_I will find what has been lost and restore what has faded, Master. I swear it._

_I only pray that my sons are well, wherever they are, and that you continue to guide them._

But he remembered the dying tree and could not suppress a shiver of dread.

-==OOO==-

Splinter followed Fuku down several hallways, marveling at the elegance and beauty of every inch of the Shogun's palace. Lord Kawauso's castle had been lovely, too, but this was a work of art of the finest quality assembled with every detail considered.

As he walked, Splinter also noted how secure the palace was. Every floor was a nightingale floor that made soft chirping sounds whenever anyone walked upon the carefully-made floorboards, and the sight-lines had been very precisely considered so that there were few blind spots in which an assassin could hide.

And yet Splinter could find a few spots which could have proven dangerous. These, however, had guards posted beside them.

Splinter glanced down at Fuku. "Has Leonardo been improving the security of the palace?" he asked, gesturing at one of the blind corners that was now occupied by an armored guard.

"Yes, Hamato-sama. Hamato Leonardo-sama does regular inspections of the entire palace complex to ensure the safety of the Shogun and all Daimyo who reside here." He grinned before quickly stifling the improper show of emotion. "Hamato Leonardo-sama was not believed at first that there was a threat. Then one night while all slept, he left notes in each place he had warned was a risk, including one beside the Shogun's very bed."

Splinter smiled faintly. "I imagine no one doubted him after such a display."

"He was challenged to a few duels by those guards who felt their honor had been abridged by his actions, but he defeated all warriors who dared his blades. He has won great honor for himself and for your Clan, Hamato-sama."

Splinter nodded. Then he peered more closely at his guide and servant. "Fuku-san, can you tell me if Lord Kawauso has yet chosen another Heir other than Leonardo?"

"He has not, Hamato-sama. Hamato Leonardo-sama remains the Heir of that han."

"With so much time in Edo?" Splinter frowned. "Leonardo knows that he should not delay in stepping down from his post."

Beside him, Fuku twitched as though he wanted to fall to his knees but could not while walking. "Hamato-sama, if you are angry, I apologize for my words."

"I am concerned, and perhaps I will become angry, but not at you, Fuku-san."

At that, Fuku did freeze before dropping to a low bow on the floor. "It is mine to bear the burden of your anger, Hamato-sama. Please, allow me to die to quiet your fury honorably."

Splinter stopped, cold with surprise. "Fuku-san, I would never ask for your death, especially for something so small and not of your making. Please rise."

"I cannot." Fuku's voice was low and tremulous. "I am yours and I have displeased you, Hamato-sama."

"You have not displeased me, Fuku-san. Now, please, to your feet."

Fuku slowly rose. "As you wish, Hamato-sama."

Splinter wrinkled his nose. "It is strange to hear myself addressed so. It is a title more befitting my own Master than myself. May I give you permission to call me Master Splinter instead?"

"No, Hamato-sama. I am too lowly for such an honor."

Splinter wanted to calm the boy who was distraught and shaking. "Can we reach no compromise, then? For while you honor me greatly, I feel it is I who am not worthy."

Fuku stubbornly looked at the ground. But then he took a breath and asked in a quiet, low voice, "Would 'Splinter-sama' be more pleasing to you?" And he curled a bit as if expecting to ward off a blow.

Splinter sighed. "Very. Thank you, Fuku-san. However, you need never fear me. I will not harm you, nor permit others to harm you."

A bit of the tension drained from Fuku's shoulders. He dropped back to his knees and his forehead touched the floor. "You have my gratitude for your mercy and kindness, honorable Splinter-sama."

"Now, rise. We must see Leonardo."

"Of course, Splinter-sama."

Fuku led Splinter out to the gardens which allowed him to see how vast the palace complex truly was. He had guessed he was housed in a building reserved for the family members of the Daimyo, but now he could see how grand the main building of the palace was where it sat shining like a jewel on the hill above.

"Hamato Leonardo-sama often takes his afternoons in the gardens for meditation," Fuku said. "I will send a servant ahead to warn him of your arrival."

"No, thank you." Splinter shook his head. "I would rather see him as he is first, before he is aware of my presence."

Fuku didn't know how to answer that so he simply ducked a bow and continued along the garden paths.

Splinter could sense his son long before he could see him. The almost-tangible presence of his chunin and Heir reached him with a reassuring steadiness.

But he was still concerned.

_Steady and true he may be, but our family is still scattered and he allowed it to happen. Whatever else, something has changed the Leonardo who has stood at my right hand for so long._

_But I must not be hasty in my judgment either_ , he thought after a moment. _Leonardo has always held my trust. I must believe he has good reason for all that he does even now._

_I must show him the same loyalty and honor he has shown me in my illness._

Beneath a stand of cherry trees, Leonardo sat upon a bench, his robes piled around him and spilling with effortless elegance at his feet. His eyes were closed and his face was serene and relaxed.

Splinter leaned down to whisper in Fuku's ear. "Leave us, please. I will call for you if I need you."

Fuku bowed wordlessly and at once backed away.

Leonardo was a fine ninja and an accomplished warrior, but Splinter was still his teacher, elder, and Master. Even Leonardo could not perceive Splinter if Splinter did not want to be heard or seen. So it was the work of but a few moments for Splinter to cross the garden path and the grass and stand before his son without disturbing him at all.

It was still not quite spring, but in spite of the chill in the air and the leaf-less trees surrounding them, there was something warm and welcoming about the spot. Splinter could well see why Leonardo had chosen it for his meditation – it seemed to invite it.

And thus Leonardo was very deeply in meditation, indeed.

He smiled faintly.

_Were Michelangelo or Raphael here, they would undoubtedly startle him quite rudely. I will, of course not do any such thing._

Then, as if the thought came to him from far away, _I wonder what Donatello would do to interrupt him?_

He dismissed that notion and focused on the son before him.

_I dreamed you vanished into darkness. I will not allow it to happen, Leonardo._

That decided him. Splinter folded his hands behind his back and spoke in a gentle voice.

"Wake, my son."

Leonardo didn't so much as twitch.

"Leonardo. It is time for you to return."

Now his eyes flicked behind his eyelids and his mouth pulled in from its lax position.

"Leonardo. Wake at once, my son."

Leonardo's eyes opened and his face split into a smile. "Master Splinter!"

Splinter returned the smile. "I am pleased to see you have continued your studies in my absence, my son."

The joy that lit Leonardo's face suggested that he was moments from leaping to his feet, but he took a deep breath and rose sedately. Then he bowed low before his father.

"I am so glad you're all right, Master Splinter. It's been so long. The healers assured me all would be well eventually, but…"

"I understand well, Leonardo. It is disconcerting to watch a loved one who is so injured. I have watched over you myself several times and know well its struggles." Splinter met his son's eyes as Leonardo straightened back up. "Thank you for your care, my son. I believe were it not for your interference that I might not yet be well."

"We really owe our thanks to Lord Kawauso," he replied. "He's the one who has the influence to ensure you were given the best treatments by the best healers. He even arranged for you to have your own servant who could look after you all the time."

"Yes," Splinter nodded. "Fuku-san has been loyal and quite informative as well."

Leonardo raised an eye-ridge. "Oh?"

Splinter looked more closely at his son. "I understand that you still stand as Heir?"

"Yes. Lord Kawauso has not yet seen fit to remove me from this station."

Splinter's gaze went a bit sharper. "And your brothers?"

"They're fine," Leonardo said – a little too quickly for Splinter's liking. "Raph has been working with some of the peasants to set up patrols throughout the han." Leonardo's eyes sparkled with sudden pride. "Raph figured out that his group could take goods from the bandits they stop, so they don't need a stipend from the Daimyo to keep their families fed in spite of not being farmers or craftsmen or merchants. The arrangement has made the han much safer and other Daimyo are discussing doing something similar."

"I am pleased to know Raphael is well," Splinter said, "but it distresses me that he is so far away."

"I know." Leonardo gave a tiny, delicate shrug. "But he has Mikey with him on and off. And that group is pretty solid, too. They'll look out for him."

Splinter crossed his arms. "And what of Michelangelo?"

"Mikey's making his place in that village kind of permanent," Leonardo said. "I think he's been waiting for you to get well before he asks your permission to approach Mitsu's father officially."

That surprised Splinter. "Michelangelo is so serious about her?"

"I guess so. I only hope she's pretty serious about him, too," Leonardo said. "If Mitsu's father agrees, she has very little room to object to such a union. I would hate to see Mikey find out she doesn't like him enough but have backed himself into a corner. Once he asks, he can't really bow out later."

"I see."

"Really, we're all doing fine," Leonardo said.

That earned him a glare. "You have _three_ brothers, Leonardo, not two."

Leonardo actually drew in a sharp breath. "Master Splinter...about Donnie…"

Splinter's tail twitched suddenly, making a sharp, scratching noise in the dry grass. "Explain to me, my son, how you could have allowed this to come to pass?"

Leonardo frowned. "Sensei, it was _you_ who barred Donatello from your presence."

Splinter's anger grew. "Be that as it may, you better than all others knew that I was not well and should have seen that my illness had rendered me irrational."

"Well, not really. I mean, I knew that, but when it came to Donnie it just made so much _sense_."

Splinter's was surprised. "I would _never_ cast any of my sons from our Clan. You know this, Leonardo. You have spent a lifetime preparing to lead this Clan _as it is_ , in spite of the animosity you have shared with Raphael in the past."

"I…" Leonardo bowed. "I see now that I was in error. I'm sorry, Master Splinter."

"It is not I who requires your words, Leonardo."

"I...I see. I'll write a letter and send it through to his world at once."

"That," Splinter said, an edge of sharpness in his tone, "is a dishonorable execution of your duty, my son."

Leonardo blinked. Then he ducked his head. "Understood, Sensei. I will...I will go to the lair soon and apologize."

"You will invite Donatello back here and you will make your apology to him before me."

Leonardo ducked into a sharp bow again. "Yes, Master Splinter."

A brisk wind blew and in spite of his heavy kimono, Splinter shivered.

Leonardo rose and took his father by the arm. "Come. Let's get you some tea and proper food. I'll catch you up on everything that's happened."

Splinter nodded and settled into his son's care.

But before they had even reached the nearest building of the palace, Splinter's thoughts had changed and his anger vanished. Instead, he wondered he had been in error. Or at least too hasty.

After all, he was well-honored by his son and Heir, and here in this world they could live happily and in comfort because of Leonardo's efforts.

What cause did he have for such disappointment in Leonardo? Of course Leonardo had done what he thought was best, and his son was rarely wrong about such things.

He must let Leonardo become all that he could be without holding him back or causing him to doubt himself.

_And Donatello will understand. We all depend upon Leonardo in this world. His choices are to the benefit of all. If he wishes to delay his apology, I will permit it._

Within the day, Splinter forgot about the apology – and Donatello – altogether.

-==OOO==-

Over the course of the next two weeks, Splinter fell into a comfortable lull.

His illness had sapped some of his strength, as he learned the first time he attempted his morning training and collapsed from exhaustion for many hours. Leonardo and Fuku attempted to dissuade Splinter from attempting such exertion another time, but Splinter refused to abide by their wishes, though he moderated his efforts. He had been ill too long and needed to regain his strength as quickly as his body could manage.

In the mornings, Splinter would train on some of his easier forms, joined by Leonardo, until his energy wavered. Then he would eat a light breakfast with his son before settling in for several hours of meditation while Leonardo attended to his duties as Heir.

For the midday meal, Splinter took to joining a few of the other guests of the Shogun, including parents, wives, and children of other Daimyo who lived in Edo for their own protection – and the assured loyalty of their Daimyo. Splinter struck up several friendships with the women who lived comfortably but rather alone while their husbands were in their respective hans, and found the children they raised to be well-behaved and polite – something rather soothing to a father who had raised somewhat more unruly sons himself.

In the afternoons, Splinter wandered the gardens, building his endurance in the spring cold and wind. Fuku often accompanied him, and in time Splinter was able to urge the boy to be more comfortable in his presence, telling stories of his own family who were connected by marriage to some important members of the Shogunate and who had therefore secured his place in the palace. Splinter found he liked the bright, child-like chatter of Fuku. He found it entertaining even when it was rapid and difficult to follow without the innate knowledge of the world's customs.

It reminded him, now and again, of someone else's chatter, but as quickly as the feeling of memory came, it would vanish.

Splinter took his evening meals with Leonardo and Lord Kawauso whenever the pair were not dining with the Shogunate. Then he would meditate for several hours before bed.

As his body grew in vigor, his afternoon walks became shorter and he trained more, slowly regaining all he had lost. It was a credit to the medicine and healers who had saved him that he recovered endurance and strength as quickly as he did.

Also as the days passed, Splinter became more accustomed to his role, and to Leonardo's. He let thoughts of Leonardo giving up his place as Heir fall away. He still worried for the two sons who were so far away, but that worry turned into a desire to find them a permanent place of their own in the Shogun's favor so that they could all settle down together.

Instead of trying to pull Leonardo back, he encouraged him, urging him forward so that his position as Heir would be assured and thus so would be the fortune of their family. As Leonardo had always been trained to protect his Clan, now Splinter helped him earn honor and prestige for it so that they could continue to gain favor with the Shogunate.

"I believe," Splinter said one morning as he and Leonardo shared the early meal, "I was wrong to be angry with you before."

"Oh?" Leonardo asked.

"I think perhaps you are well-suited to remain as Lord Kawauso's Heir for as long as he pleases, and for that I apologize to you. I should not have judged your choices so harshly."

"It's nothing, Master. But what if the Daimyo eventually produces another, biological Heir whom he raises above me?"

"Then your actions here in Edo will serve to ingratiate you to another Lord, or even the Shogun himself. For as long as we have such powerful allies, we will be able to live in comfort and your brothers will continue to be honored as members of our Clan."

"I will do my best, Sensei. I will ensure that you and our Clan are so highly respected that we may maintain this life together here in Edo as we deserve after a lifetime of living in squalor."

"Yes, my son. That is what I wish for us all."

Splinter's fever dreams faded and he focused only on the world and the path before him.

-==OOO==-

Sixteen days from when Splinter had woken fully in command of his mind, Miyamoto Usagi arrived at the palace.

Splinter and Leonardo received him in one of the smaller rooms of the palace. They sat side-by-side, both kimono flowing around them like pools of water.

Usagi had come directly from the road and his own clothing was dirtied and a little worn, but his friends forgave him that breach of etiquette.

"I'm sorry it has taken me so long to arrive," Usagi said after polite greetings had been exchanged. "I intended to come much sooner, but I ran into a little trouble with the Assassins' Guild."

Leonardo smiled at him. "I am not surprised you found yourself in the middle of another adventure."

Usagi returned the smile. "That seems to be the path I shall always walk, I fear. However, another evil-doer has been vanquished and another village is safe, which is what truly matters. My own future could never be more important than the peaceful lives of the innocent."

"Well said, Usagi-san," Splinter said. "Though we do wish to hear your tale."

"Of course," Usagi said. "But first, I wished to inquire...is everything all right?" He looked closely at Leonardo.

"Sure." Leonardo gave a dainty shrug. "Master Splinter's getting better every day, and the security around here has improved a lot. We haven't had any real threats to deal with since we got here. It's been...peaceful."

"Hmm." Usagi's look narrowed. "And you are certain _you_ are quite well, Leonardo-san?"

"Yes. I said so." Leonardo returned the expression with one of his own. "What's wrong, Usagi?"

Usagi folded his arms against his chest. "I have known you for some time now, Leonardo-san. But of late you have been acting...a little differently from what I have seen in the past."

"How so?"

"To put it frankly, I am disturbed by your treatment of Donatello-san."

Splinter's eyebrows rose in surprise. He had not thought about Donatello since his first conversation with Leonardo after emerging from his illness. He had entirely forgotten Leonardo's promise to go speak to him, and now no longer thought such an apology was urgent.

"Donnie?" Leonardo tipped his head. "Why?"

"Perhaps not only Donatello, but all your brothers," Usagi said. "Never in all the time we have known one another have you been so casual about the safety of your brothers in a strange place."

Leonardo smiled a bit. "But this isn't a strange place. This is our home now."

Usagi flinched. "It is, perhaps. But it is not Donatello's. And if you will forgive me, it seems strange to me that you are so little concerned about his well-being."

"He made his choice," Leonardo said, and his tone went sharp. "He hasn't come here for months. He's clearly happier where he is. And living here is easier for the rest of us without him causing confusion."

"Confusion?" Usagi asked, eyebrows high. "Is that how you see it, Leonardo-san?"

"How do you see it, then?"

"I saw a friend trying desperately to please those who would not ever be satisfied by him while also still remaining true to himself and the family he loves. That he was not well-suited to this world does not mean he was not acting with integrity and honor."

"I never said he wasn't honorable," Leonardo shot back.

"You imply it. You imply it by allowing ugly gossip to be spoken about him and you imply it by casting him out rather than embracing him." Usagi's eyes snapped with affronted anger. "Do you know what the guards said when I asked them about your brothers and if any were in residence here besides yourself? That but one brother has ever been seen here and he was thrown back to his own world after being removed from your Clan!"

Leonardo crossed his own arms. "That was a mistake."

Usagi did not back down. "And have you rectified it yet? Have you ensured that Donatello-san is well? Because the last time I saw him, he was heartsick and fighting many battles alone."

Leonardo took a deep breath and Splinter could see he was winding up to argue. He held up his hand to stop them both.

"I believe we should discuss something else," he said. "Let us share happier stories for a time. Then we can return to this topic when our minds are clearer."

Usagi's eyes widened and he stared at Splinter. "Master Splinter...you…?"

Splinter looked at him curiously. "Yes, Usagi-san?"

Usagi abruptly pushed to his feet and gave a cursory, almost rude bow. "Excuse me, please."

Leonardo extended a hand as if to draw him back. "You don't have to go. Sensei's right. We'll just talk about something else for a while."

"No, thank you," Usagi said, turning away. "I have some things to think upon. I will visit with you another day."

And he quit the room.

Leonardo and Splinter exchanged uncertain looks.

"He's sure upset about Don," Leonardo said at last.

Splinter shrugged. "Well, he is a loyal friend and there is no dishonor in that. When he returns, we will more carefully explain that all is as it should be."

"Sure."

-==OOO==-

Splinter was dreaming again.

"Where am I?" he asked. He seemed to be standing in an open field with a blue sky above.

Before him, Hamato Yoshi bowed. "You are with your family, Splinter."

Splinter glanced over his shoulder and saw his four sons arranged behind him, also bowing.

Yoshi rose but he did not smile. "Shall we begin?"

Splinter could only nod and settle into the stance his Master adapted, letting the familiar form carry him.

A cold wind rose and clouds began to darken the sky.

Splinter stopped his movements. "Master?"

Yoshi's eyes met his. "Beware the easiest path, for it lies."

Splinter looked around. Behind him, his sons also stopped their motions.

The shadows fell from above with the weight of hail, engulfing first Michelangelo, then Leonardo, then Raphael. As the darkness fell upon them, they began to move out of formation and turned away from Splinter.

"My sons! You must stay with me!" he called.

But the darkness grew thick and their steps carried them deeper and deeper into it.

Splinter spun. "Help me, Master Yoshi!"

Hamato Yoshi's eyes were sad. "I cannot help you, Splinter. I can only do what I have already done."

Donatello stepped past Splinter to stand beside Yoshi.

Splinter looked at him. "Why have the shadows not fallen upon you, my son?"

Don shook his head and his eyes were wet. "Because I wasn't there, Master. As I'm not there now."

"Donatello, do you know what has occurred?"

"Not really." He shrugged. "But it doesn't matter. I have someplace else to go now."

Donatello bowed to Hamato Yoshi. Yoshi returned the bow and then held out a hand.

Splinter took a step forward. "Donatello? Master?"

Donatello accepted Yoshi's hand and turned away. Hamato Yoshi looked back over his shoulder at Splinter.

"I can only do what I have already done," he said again. "Whatever you choose, I will not leave this one to his fate without recourse. Choose wisely, for I cannot help you another time."

Hamato Yoshi and Donatello began to walk away, leaving Splinter behind with feet that felt frozen to the ground.

Suddenly a lightning-bolt struck from the sky. Splinter's cry of fear and pain was lost in its crash.

Fire rose up, wild and engulfing, and Yoshi and Donatello vanished into it.

"No!" Splinter cried.

He yearned to run after them into the fire, to save them.

"And yet, if I leave my sons in the shadow..." He turned back to where he could barely see them anymore. "They will be lost."

All at once, he understood.

"I must find my sons and return them to the light. Or we will be parted by a calamity that will divide us for all time!"

Splinter closed his eyes on the scene. "I am coming, my sons." He gathered his will like a physical thing in his hands.

Splinter woke with a start.

"I have been lulled into _foolishness_!" He pressed a hand against his chest to try to calm his pounding heart.

A head peeked in his door. "Splinter-sama?"

"Fuku-san." Splinter stared at him as if he had never really seen the squirrel before.

"Are you well, Splinter-sama?"

"No, I am certainly not." Splinter shook his head. A tremble ran through him.

_I have failed in my vow to protect this family. I have let myself be blinded by the ease and refinement of this life. I have let the comfort of my surroundings numb me to their reality._

_How easily I have been led astray. I must make my will iron and unbending even in the soft wind that whispers._

_If I am lost this time, I fear I shall never see clearly again._

_I cannot squander this last gift from my Master._

"Can I be of service?" Fuku asked, crawling near.

"Yes." Splinter's eyes blazed with sudden conviction. "Send messengers, the fastest you can call upon on my behalf, to summon my sons here. Raphael and Michelangelo must both come with all speed."

Fuku was clearly surprised but he kept his face down. "I will do as you command, Splinter-sama."

But Splinter was not done. He pushed the bedclothes away and stood. "What is the hour, Fuku-san?"

"The false dawn approaches. Night has almost faded."

"Good. Bring me tea as soon as you have finished sending the messengers. And a new kimono. I have important business today."

"Yes, Splinter-sama." Fuku's forehead hit the floor before he was off and sprinting.

Splinter moved across the floor on silent feet to where the sky was beginning to pale with the dawn.

"I understand, Master Yoshi," Splinter said to the coming morning. "I will not fail you again. I will not be tempted this time. And I will do as I ought to have done weeks ago."

He closed his eyes and bowed to the sky.

"I will reunite my family and bring them home. I will restore what has been lost. By my honor, I swear this time I will _not_ fail."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Sassatello from Tumblr and 1readerVB/Luck-of-the-Irishmen for the fanart for each chapter in this story!!! These are STUNNING!!!


	2. Question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, somebody's guessed the song for this one in record time. This makes me inordinately pleased.
> 
> Time for some answers.
> 
> Apologies to anything I got slightly wrong about Usagi's early training. I've never read the comics, so I kinda had to make do with what I could find out online.
> 
> Enjoy!

Usagi left the Shogun's palace angry and confused.

Though it was approaching time for the evening meal, he did not stop at any of the places he knew well, nor did he visit the allies and acquaintances he had in the city. Instead, he exited the city and nightfall found him alone at a shrine away from Edo's noise and travel.

The focus of the shrine was a large, ancient cherry tree situated between the shrine's well and several nearby pools of water. Usagi approached until he could rest a hand against the tree's bark.

"Something has changed my friends," Usagi said softly. "Something has happened to both Leonardo-san and Master Splinter. And I do not know how to help them."

He closed his eyes.

"Please help me. Please help me break whatever spell has been cast that they may once more become the honorable friends I have known."

The wind blew around Usagi, rattling chimes hung in branches of the surrounding trees.

And suddenly Usagi was pulled into a far distant memory.

_Miyamoto Usagi looked up at his Sensei, Katsuichi, with big eyes. He had only been a student of the swordmaster for a matter of months, but already he was awed by the prowess and wisdom of the lion._

_Never more so than now when Katsuichi-sensei taught Usagi to travel to the Battle Nexus._

" _Very good," Katsuichi said, looking at Usagi's copying of the mystical symbols. "Someday I will teach you how to change this casting so it can carry you to worlds other than the Battle Nexus."_

" _How many worlds are there, Sensei?" Usagi asked._

" _Many more than you can imagine. But you must be very, very careful should you journey beyond the Battle Nexus to them."_

" _Why?"_

_Katsuichi-sensei gestured for Usagi to leave the patch of dirt upon which he had been scrawling. Usagi followed him to the edge of a nearby stream. Katsuichi-sensei took a bowl and scooped up silty water from the bottom of the river._

" _The river is our world. This bowl would be another, not the Battle Nexus."_

_Then his hand flashed and he drew a small fish from the stream._

" _This fish is at home in his own river. If I put him in this bowl, for a time he may not notice a difference, as the water is the same that he has always known. But this water cannot sustain him. If he remains, he will grow ill from living in this bowl which is filled with something other than the pure water that is his rightful home."_

" _Other worlds make you sick?" Usagi asked after a moment._

" _With time, yes. The passage of a month to you would be like the first few moments to this fish. You would be safe and would notice nothing. But beyond that, you would begin to grow ill._

" _However, it is not an illness of the body, but of the mind. Like a tree that grows around a stone, your spirit would twist. You would not feel poorly, but you would no longer be growing straight and true as you should."_

" _But the Battle Nexus isn't bad?"_

" _No. The Battle Nexus is a world which is pure to all who can attain it. But the Battle Nexus also contains the Nexus Daimyo, who is a powerful sorcerer. Look at our fish again."_

_Usagi did, feeling sorry for the fish who was obviously uncomfortable in the small, silt-filled bowl._

" _There are snails which would eat the impurity in this water, correct?"_

" _Yes, Sensei."_

" _If one of those were placed in this bowl, the water would clear and the fish would not grow ill. Similarly, there are sorcerers whose presence at your side in a strange world would prevent the illness from finding you. They can move between worlds easily and suffer no harm, protecting those in their shadow. There are also some talismans which make the passage safer, but these are rare and do not always work for all peoples in all worlds."_

_Usagi considered for a moment. "Does that mean I could go to other worlds for just a little while and come back and go again and come back?"_

_Katsuichi-sensei shook his head. "Imagine doing that to our fish. Take him by the tail and dip him in the river and back in the bowl several times."_

_Usagi obeyed, keeping a tight grip on the fish's tail-fin as he moved it between the two._

" _Now stop. Put him in the bowl and watch him. What do you see?"_

_Usagi stared. "He...seems tired. Confused."_

" _Yes. If you cross worlds too quickly, the illness will still find you. To be safe, if you must journey to another world, do so with caution, stay only as long as necessary, and then return home and remain for at least a few weeks. Even then, you may feel strange when you return home, as though you had drunk too much sake. It will take time for the influence of another world to leave your mind."_

" _Unless I travel with one of those sorcerers or a magical talisman."_

" _Yes. But such sorcerers are rare and the talismans rarer still. You must obey me in this, young one."_

" _I will, Katsuichi-sensei."_

In the present, Usagi's eyes snapped open.

"How could I have forgotten that? I've always been careful venturing to other worlds besides the Nexus. But I forgot that there was a _reason_ for it!"

Usagi turned away from the sacred tree.

"Katsuichi-sensei, I have dishonored you. I failed to recall your lesson. And this is the result. My friends have taken ill from being in this world far too long. They have forgotten themselves and their true feelings."

Usagi was angry enough to punch the tree, but he held back the impulse. He would not be so discourteous to the ancient lifeforce which had guided him to the truth.

"I must return to Edo. I must convince them of the truth of all that has happened. I must send them home as quickly as possible."

He let out a long breath, forcing himself calm.

"No matter what resistance they offer, I must persevere. I have led them here and I failed to guard them. All that has happened to this family, and especially to Donatello-san, is my doing."

He looked up into the sky.

"Please forgive me, my friend. I will find some way to atone for this, I swear it."

He began to walk back towards Edo; he would not be able to see his friends again so late, but he could find a place to pass the night so he could be read to approach the guards to allow him entrance at dawn.

"But first I must correct what has been done and send your family home to you."

-==OOO==-

Before the first light of true dawn touched the trees Splinter could see from his window, Fuku returned breathless with the tray of tea balanced on one hand and a fresh kimono flung over the opposite arm. He gave the barest of bows before entering and setting out the tea.

"The messengers have been sent, Splinter-sama. They will reach your sons as quickly as it can be done."

"And how quickly is that?" Splinter asked, turning from the window.

"A week or two at the most depending upon their skill and the weather and their horses' endurance."

"Then it will be twice that before my sons arrive," Splinter said.

"Normally yes, but if you can forgive my impudence, I took measures to assist in their speed on your behalf, Splinter-sama."

Splinter raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"Behind the messengers will travel a few servants with horses going at a slower pace. They will stop at inns along the way and wait for your sons to arrive. Your sons will trade their mounts for the fresh ones in waiting so they will be able to travel farther each day."

Fuku dropped and bowed. "I hope you are not upset by my impertinence."

Splinter settled to his knees beside Fuku. "I am grateful, Fuku-san." When Fuku lifted his head, Splinter bowed to him. "I fear for the next few days I shall be rather demanding of you. I hope you will forgive me in return."

"Of course, Splinter-sama." He poured the tea.

Splinter accepted the teacup and sipped at it for a moment. Buoyed and reassured, he asked, "Do you know the ronin who came to visit us yesterday? Miyamoto Usagi?"

"Only by reputation, though I had seen him before yesterday."

"Good. As soon as I have finished my tea and dressed, I will be going to see Leonardo. I wish you to inquire after Usagi-san to learn if he is still nearby. We parted too early yesterday and now I very much need to hear his thoughts on an urgent matter."

"I will find him and bring him to you at once, Splinter-sama."

"Thank you, Fuku-san." His hand was steady on his teacup, a mirror for the determination that he was coiling around his mind and soul.

Urgency burned in Splinter's stomach so he drank his tea much more quickly than usual; he would have foregone it entirely except that he felt he needed its calming influence before he faced Leonardo.

_So easily fooled was I, so easily manipulated by whatever has caused us all to forget that which is most important. Leonardo has been even more completely persuaded than I, and so to bring his mind to its correct state will take delicacy._

_I must awaken him from this illusion before Raphael and Michelangelo arrive if at all possible. It may take both of us to pull my other sons from their own confusion._

The instant he set the teacup down, Fuku gathered the tray, bowed, and rose. "If you do not require assistance dressing, I will go now to find Miyamoto-san as quickly as I can, Splinter-sama."

"Yes, I will manage on my own. Speed in finding Usagi-san is the most important thing. Wherever I am when you find him, bring him to me if you can."

"I will. I promise, Splinter-sama, I will be as swift as I can."

And Fuku was off and away, racing through the hallways on feet that were not silent given his wooden sandals and the nightingale floors whose chirps accompanied him.

Splinter was dressed in the kimono before the sound of Fuku's footfalls had entirely faded from his hearing. He moved with his own speed silently through the hallways and between buildings to reach Leonardo's own chambers. As Heir, he was housed closer to the Daimyo than other family members.

In spite of the early hour, barely dawn, the guards were no less attentive at their posts. However, they knew Splinter after these past weeks and let him pass without delay. The sun had still not risen fully by the time Splinter tapped at Leonardo's own door.

The door slid open and Leonardo's own servant, a diminutive kitsune, stuck his head out.

"Oh! Hamato Splinter-sama!"

"I have urgent business with my son," Splinter said. "Please allow me entrance and leave us."

The kitsune turned around and Splinter could hear Leonardo reinforce his request politely. Then the kitsune opened the door more fully and bowed low to them both before exiting and shutting the door.

Splinter strode across the room to where his son stood near the window, only half-dressed. From his position and the many robes and obi and other pieces of the intricate wardrobe scattered about, Splinter assumed his son had been allowing the kitsune to dress him rather than doing it himself.

"Good morning, Sensei," Leonardo said, giving a half bow. "What brings you here so early? Is something the matter?"

"Something is _gravely_ the matter, my son," Splinter replied. "I have made an error and I will correct it at once."

Leonardo's cautions posture evaporated and he snapped as tight as a bowstring. "What's wrong?"

Splinter fixed his eyes on his son and watched him closely.

"The time has come for you be reunited with your brothers. I have summoned Raphael and Michelangelo to join us here as quickly as possible, and when they arrive I will be returning with you all to our own world."

Leonardo frowned darkly. "Master Splinter, that's not possible. I have to remain here and serve Lord Kawauso as Heir. You know that. If I leave now and so suddenly, I will lose all influence with the Shogunate."

"The Shogunate does not concern me, Leonardo. Only our family does."

"I'm doing this _for_ our family. Within a year or two, I should be able to secure our future forever." Leonardo's frown morphed into an imperial scowl. "What's the point in going back to the other world? There's _nothing_ for us there. Everything we've ever wanted is here."

"You are wrong about that, my son. There is something vitally important in our own world and we must return to it at once."

"And what is that? You _can't_ mean Donatello."

Splinter was surprised at the vitriol in Leonardo's tone. "Of course I do."

Leonardo gave a great, angry sigh. "Look, Master Splinter. I appreciate the loyalty and compassion you've shown to him, but enough is enough. Donatello is a lot of good things, but he's just not one of us. He doesn't belong here. He never did. And we do."

"No. We do not. And Donatello _is_ one of you. He is your _brother_ , Leonardo." Splinter's eyes narrowed. "Or do you no longer cherish any of your brothers?"

"It's different now." Leonardo gave a small shrug. "When we were younger, yeah, we couldn't breathe without each other. But we're growing up. It's like I told Donatello. We need space to live our own lives. Being here has shown me that it is wiser to maintain some distance, emotionally and physically, from brothers who may not accept their place."

"What is their place, then?" Splinter peered at him. "Are you so concerned for your own glory and position that you fear your brothers and would keep them away to prevent any conflict?"

"It's not about conflict. It's that I don't want to go another however-many years fighting with Raph for what I have rightly earned."

"And what is that, Leonardo?"

Leonardo looked at him as if he were an idiot. That troubled Splinter more than the rest of their conversation; his son had never shown him such obvious disrespect in his life.

"I am Lord Kawauso's Heir. And someday I will be named Daimyo, either in his han or another. I won't let anyone remove me from my rightful position."

Splinter squared his small body and lifted his head in challenge. "Hamato Leonardo. You are still a member of my Clan before any other."

The order in his voice drew Leonardo up short and he blanked his face to bow slightly. "Yes, Master Splinter."

"Then if you will not accept my words any other way, I give to you this command: you _will_ obey me in this, Leonardo. You will make arrangements to leave this world and return to our home. You will surrender your place as Heir."

Splinter could see his son nearly trembling with anger. Clearly, Leonardo wanted more than anything else to fight these orders. But to do so would be to betray his Clan and his father, and both would be a severe loss of honor.

Splinter decided he would give Leonardo some time to consider. "I would like you to think on my command and on what you have said to me this morning. I think, upon reflection, you will discover many truths that have become hidden or faded that you must again take up in full. I will leave you now to begin preparations for our journey."

Leonardo did not rise out of his bow, which Splinter could sense was partially to hide the fury in his face from his father. He quit the room quickly and began to head back towards his own.

Fuku met him halfway at a run. "Splinter-sama!"

Splinter looked at his young servant with renewed hope. "Did you find him?"

"Miyamoto-san himself has come to the palace hoping for another audience with you. If you will forgive me, I have shown him into the same chamber as yesterday."

"You need no forgiveness," Splinter said. "Thank you, Fuku-san."

When he entered the receiving chamber, he noted at once that Miyamoto Usagi looked as though he had barely slept - he was far more unkempt than the day before.

"Master Splinter - " Usagi began.

But Splinter held up a hand to silence him. Then he bowed fully at the waist.

"Usagi-san. I owe you my most heartfelt of apologies."

Usagi's surprise was clear, but his discipline was greater than his feelings and he instantly returned the bow. "Not at all, Master Splinter." Then he looked up as they both rose. "Does this mean your opinions have changed from what they were yesterday?"

"Yes, in many ways," Splinter answered. "I...received a warning in the night. When I woke, it became clear to me that something had clouded my mind and turned my heart aside from its true path."

Usagi nodded. "Yes. This is why I have returned. I have recalled something I did not remember yesterday that would explain much."

"Please tell me. I _must_ understand what has happened to myself and my sons."

Usagi explained the advice about traveling between dimensions from his Master just as it had been given to him. When he was finished he closed his eyes.

"Master Splinter, it is I who must offer you an apology. All of this is my fault." And he bowed with his head hanging down. "Had I but recalled the warning of my Master, I might have saved you and your family much grief."

Splinter returned the bow, but when Usagi didn't rise, he stepped forward and put a warm hand on the ronin's shoulder. "Usagi-san, mistakes were made by myself as well. I failed to heed the warnings and signs that were so obvious. I failed to listen to Donatello's concerns and then I failed to listen to him at all."

"Nevertheless, this is a burden that I must carry until I can repay your family and especially Donatello-san. To him I owe a special debt that I must repay, for my honor will not be satisfied until I have atoned for the harm I have caused him."

"Tell me about him," Splinter said "I did not listen to you yesterday."

Usagi's eyes dropped. "I saw him some weeks ago, more than two months, I believe. He was...in difficulty."

"How so?"

"He did not say much, but I surmised from his words and his exhaustion that he had been in a difficult battle - and it was not the only one in recent days. He seemed...frayed. As though he were being worn down by circumstances he could neither escape nor combat."

Usagi swallowed before he raised his gaze to meet Splinter's.

"And he was lonely, Master Splinter. Profoundly so. The loss of his family haunted him, though its true extent he would not show me."

Splinter nodded as sorrow crept into his throat.

"Of all my sons, Donatello feels neither more nor less, but he has the least ability to drive off his hurts. Raphael and Leonardo both push their anger or pain from themselves through training and battle. And sorrow does not cling to Michelangelo - he lets it fall from him like a shadow that vanishes in the sunlight.

"But Donatello cannot always find solace in his machines, and when he does not, the pain in him tears at his soul like a ravenous wolf. In times of greatest difficulty, I have feared for his heart and his mind under such a terrible burden."

"I believe," Usagi said slowly, "that you have reason to fear. Even so long ago, he was almost strange to me, neither collected nor as insightful as I know him to be. And he let me see moments of weakness that, where he more steady, he would not have permitted."

"I must go to him," Splinter said.

But Usagi shook his head. "It is too dangerous, Master Splinter."

Splinter's tail lashed. "I would endure much danger for my son, Usagi-san."

"I know that." Usagi held up his hands. "But to go back and forth between dimensions so quickly might cause you to lose the clarity you currently possess. If you go and, upon returning, forget all that you have learned, I fear that I will not be able to convince you of this truth any more than I could yesterday."

Splinter closed his eyes. "You are wise, Usagi-san. Already I can feel the pull of this world's delusions upon my mind."

"But if it would be of help, I will go to Donatello myself. I am not at such risk of confusion."

Splinter nodded, eyes opening. "Yes, please. How quickly can you go?"

"This moment," Usagi said. He strode to the nearest wall and drew a piece of chalk from a pocket. It took only the work of a few minutes to inscribe the symbols to open the doorway to the lair. He was not surprised when Splinter took up the chant beside him to create the doorway, but he could hear the slightest tremble in his voice.

 _I cannot imagine_ , Usagi thought, _the agony of having one's eyes opened to such profound errors, even if they were not one's own fault. If all is not well with Donatello, I fear Master Splinter's heart may truly break._

The instant the doorway was stable, Usagi gave Splinter a quick nod and entered it.

When the portal closed behind him after a few seconds, Splinter found himself clasping his hands tightly. He stepped back from the wall and folded his legs as if to meditate, but neither nor silence focus would come to him.

_My son. Donatello. Please be well. Please let no harm have come to you. If something has happened…_

But he could not even finish that thought.

Some minutes later, the magical doorway appeared upon the wall again and Splinter rose to his feet on legs that felt a bit unsteady.

When Usagi stepped into the receiving chamber, his expression was grave.

"Master Splinter, Donatello is not in your lair. I searched for him, but could not find him anywhere."

He held out a sealed envelope.

"However, I found this upon the threshold of what I recall was your room."

Splinter's fingers did not shake as he ripped at the paper, but it took him several moments to shake out the letter from the envelope.

The first thing he noticed was that this was not his son's distinctive handwriting.

 

> To Whom It May Concern,  
>       I leave this missive with Donatello's knowledge and permission, for even now he would not wish to cause pain to those who may be distressed on his behalf. I have calculated that only seven recipients are likely to read this letter and have composed answers for you all.  
>       To April O'Neil or Casey Jones: If Donatello has missed his timing to reestablish communication with you, he apologizes. As do I. Please do not fear for his safety. I assure you, he will be better protected with us than he has ever been in his life. I would assume that he will be returning shortly and ask for your patience.  
>       To Master Splinter, Leonardo, Raphael, or Michelangelo: Donatello has left the Earth. He has traveled with myself and Leatherhead to our true home (I will not detail it here in case this letter should fall into the wrong hands). Donatello himself has left you a number of instructions pertaining to this new lair somewhere he said you could find from this clue: behind Mikey's shield from Raph's foot the night Usagi came. I encourage you to read them if you intend to stay in this lair, as its security far outweighs any from your previous homes. As a personal note, I feel you have treated Donatello very poorly and am quite upset with you. If Donatello wishes to make contact with you again, I will not prevent him. But for the sake of his well-being, I hope he does not. I will ensure he receives the medical and psychological help he needs for all that has occurred so that he may find healing in his new future.  
>       To Miyamoto Usagi: Donatello wishes to thank you for your friendship. I myself am rather angry with you, but I cannot blame you for needing the unique help only Donatello's family could provide, and it is certainly not your fault that they made the subsequent decisions that have ended things thusly. Please know that you are welcome to come and go from here as you wish, but I highly recommend you do not attempt to leave the lair for the city as the security measures will treat you quite harshly if the lair is breached in any way. If there are any items here that would be of service to yourself or any member of Donatello's family, you have his permission to remove them. Donatello is leaving behind only that which does not belong with him now.  
>       If the person reading this letter is any other than those aforementioned, I assume you are an unwelcome intruder and I would like to politely tell you to enjoy the few minutes you have before Donatello's quite substantial defenses remove you from this place one way or another.  
>  I am, sincerely,  
>  Professor ….

The signature was in a language whose alphabet was entirely unfamiliar to Splinter, but he did not need it to guess that the Fugitoid was the letter's author.

"My son." Splinter sank rather heavily to the ground. "He has gone...to the Utrom Homeworld. Alone. And...if Professor Honeycutt is to be believed...he was deeply hurt when they left."

Usagi could see the pain on Splinter's face and made a quick, strategic decision.

"I will order some refreshments," he said, heading for the door and closing it behind him. He did ask the nearest guard or servant to bring some tea, but he had no intention of carrying it back into the room for the moment.

Instead, Usagi leaned against the door, prepared to guard it from any who might dare to enter when Splinter so desperately needed a moment of privacy. Usagi did not particularly want to start a duel within the Shogun's palace, but if that was what was necessary to ensure Splinter's solitude, he would not hesitate.

Usagi would not let anyone intrude upon Splinter's grief, not when he could hear its sounds ever so faintly even now.

Within the room, Splinter held the letter and could not seem to stop whispering.

"My son. Oh my son. I am so sorry, Donatello. My son."

-==OOO==-

"Hey!"

Raph kicked his mount to try to catch up with the figure in the distance.

"Hey! Mikey!"

After a long beat, the horse and rider ahead slowed and Raph was able to draw up alongside.

"You got the message too, huh?" Raph asked.

He noted that Michelangelo had made the same decision he had - to forgo all but the simplest garments and to pack almost nothing for the trip. The summons from their father had been so urgent, nothing but weaponry seemed important, and even that was balanced against speed.

"Yeah," Mikey answered.

Raph peered more closely at him. "You okay, bro?"

Mikey shrugged.

Raph, his anger rising, reached out and snatched the reins from Michelangelo's hands, drawing both horses to an abrupt stop.

"Talk to me, Mikey."

Mikey avoided his gaze. "Let's just say I'm not too sorry to leave the village right now."

A sinking feeling dropped into Raph's gut. "Uh oh. Mike, what happened?"

Michelangelo surrendered, seeing he wouldn't be able to talk his brother out of prying. "Mitsu's engaged." Then, in case it needed to be specified, "To somebody else."

Raph frowned. "How is that possible? You've been all buddy-buddy with her and her dad, right?"

"Yeah. But...it was an agreement from when she was a kid. With this soldier who worked on the border. He got hurt and came back and...her dad decided he would rather see her pop out a buncha babies than give me a chance."

Raph drew in a breath. "Bro...I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

Raph weighed his words in his mind for a few moments. "If you...I mean, if you're really serious...we could…"

"Don't." The word was sharp. "I don't care what your stupid plan is. Don't do it."

"You don't even know what my plan is."

"If it involves either killing the guy to give me room, kidnapping Mitsu, or getting Leo to lean on her father as the Heir, then nope. Not interested."

That forced a chuckle out of Raph. "You've gotten smarter since the last time I saw ya."

"It's not that. I already thought of them."

"And didn't try any of them because...?"

"It would make her sad. Mitsu...really likes this guy. At least as much as she likes me. And it's not like I can give her kitty babies."

Raphael didn't have a good argument for that one. He reached over and punched Mikey's shoulder. "Sorry, buddy."

"Yeah." Michelangelo shook his head. "You got the map, right? Of all the places we can switch horses?"

Raph nodded. "Yup. Seems like Sensei thought of everything."

"The next one isn't too far. I bet if we keep going, we can get all the way to the switch after that before dark."

"You been riding after dark?" Raph asked.

"It's not like sleeping by myself in the woods is the best idea," Mikey told him.

"Okay. Well, let's see how tired we are when we switch again. I'm not against riding all night, either." Raph turned his eyes back down the road. "Something in that message...I don't like it."

"Me neither." And concern drew the loss from Mikey's eyes a bit so he looked more like himself. "I'm worried about Master Splinter."

Raph dropped the reins he had taken from Michelangelo. "Me, too. Come on. Let's move."

And they kicked their horses again and took off at speed.

-==OOO==-

When Splinter emerged from his grief to attend to the task set before him, he found himself faced with days that were more uncomfortable than some he had spent in the foul dungeons of enemies.

On the one hand, he had many apologies and explanations to make, and as more and more inhabitants of the palace began to show the same curiosity about why he would take his son out of his position against the will of both Lord Kawauso and Leonardo himself, he began to lose patience in inventing answers that would satisfy everyone.

On the other hand, Leonardo was actively avoiding him now, and resisting his attempts to convince him of his reasons and their importance.

For days, Splinter felt as if he bounced around the palace between those who wished to hear too much and the one who refused to hear enough.

The biggest advantage Splinter had was that he had managed to speak to the Shogun first, before Leonardo or Kawauso, and the Shogun decreed that Splinter, as head of the Hamato Clan, had the right to this course of action and none were to interfere with him.

His other advantage was the presence of Usagi, who remained in the palace at Splinter's request. While Splinter was waylaid with every step he took by those who served other Daimyo as well as Kawauso's own men to answer their unending, affronted questions, Usagi was able to move more freely. It was Usagi who began gathering those possessions that had been transported from the lair to this dimension and on to Edo so he could return them to their rightful home.

Usagi also sent additional messengers with orders to gather up the possessions Michelangelo and Raphael would undoubtedly have left behind in the han. Once the family was safely back in their own world, Usagi could make a trip to bring the rest of their things to them.

By switching horses so often and riding almost without stopping, Michelangelo and Raphael arrived just a little over two weeks from when Splinter had woken and sent for them.

Splinter met them both in his own chambers, with Usagi at his side.

"Master Splinter!" Raph cried. "Are you all right?"

"Your message said it was really urgent," Mikey added. "Did you get sick again?"

"No. In fact, I am more well now than I have been for months." Splinter examined his sons carefully.

_The same, and yet not. They, at least, still speak like themselves - unlike Leonardo, who has begun to craft his words like the other Daimyo. But there is a stillness in Michelangelo and a wildness in Raphael that both worry me. And neither came to me with the dirt and sweat of the journey upon them. Both took time to change and bathe which, while my sense of smell my appreciate it, shows that they have been very much changed from the sons I knew who would have stormed into this palace on horseback and ridden to my very door not so long ago._

"I am concerned about your brother."

Raph's expression went tight. "Is Leo okay?"

"Not Leonardo. Your other brother."

Michelangelo and Raphael glanced at one another, frowning slightly. Mikey pointed. "Usagi?"

Splinter exchanged a look with Usagi laden with both pain and apprehension.

"Your _brother_. Donatello."

Michelangelo's face went cloudy as if confused. "Donnie?" His tone was uncertain; it was as though he only barely recalled the person at all.

But Raphael's expression bent into one of heated disgust. "The only thing wrong with that _loser_ is that he ain't worth the shell on his back."

"Raphael!" Splinter snapped, his tail slamming hard enough to crack a floorboard behind him. "You will never speak so of your brother again!"

"Why not?" Raph bunched his hands into fists. "It's true, ain't it? I kicked his shell to teach him a lesson about finishing his own battles. If he ain't learned it, he ain't my problem."

Usagi's eyes went wide. "You did battle with Donatello? When?"

"I dunno. Couple weeks before the solstice, maybe?"

Usagi looked to Splinter. "Not long after I saw him, and he was already injured then."

Splinter looked at his son with an anger he fought to control. "Did you harm Donatello?"

"Yeah? I dunno. It was a fight. He lost."

That dismissiveness curled in Splinter's heart and his anger faded into sorrow. "The damage that has been done...I begin to see why the Professor was so furious."

"The Professor?" Mikey asked.

Splinter took a deep breath and drew himself up.

"We will be returning to our own world at once. Now that you have arrived, we need only collect Leonardo. Anything you have left behind will be gathered by Usagi after we are gone."

"What?" Raph jumped to his feet. "No! I ain't goin!"

"Yeah." Mikey didn't rise but he sat back. "This is _way_ better than that stinky old sewer. _Especially_ if it's still just a giant latrine."

Splinter got to his own feet and faced them both, cognizant of Usagi at his back braced for the worst.

"I am head of this Clan and I am your father. These are my orders. We return home _now_."

The thin paper door slid open revealing Leonardo, face twisted in his own rage.

"Hamato Splinter, by tradition I challenge to you single combat."

Splinter turned and regarded him coolly. "You challenge me, Leonardo?"

"Yes. That is the only way to put this foolishness to an end. We will battle and when I defeat you, I will become head of this Clan. And there will never again be such talk of leaving."

"Master Splinter," Usagi said as he stepped to his side, "please. Allow me to be your sword in this."

Splinter held up a hand. "Thank you, Usagi-san, but no." He met Leonardo's hard glare with his own. "I will settle this with my son myself."

"Then." Usagi drew his daisho, the longer of the two swords he carried, and presented it with a bow. "Please allow me to lend you this, that it might serve you well in your battle."

Splinter would rather have faced his son with only the carved walking stick in his hands which had been a gift carried by Leonardo himself from the Ancient One. But he could understand Usagi's wish to help, and he thought perhaps that all of his sons would do better to see him wield a full sword that carried authority in this world. So he nodded and accepted the blade, entrusting the walking stick to Usagi who held it with reverence.

"Come, _father_ ," Leo spat the word. "We will finish this now."

"Yes, Leonardo. We will."

As they headed out into the gardens, Raphael and Michelangelo following, Michelangelo leaned to Usagi.

"Has Master Splinter been really bored or something? Why's he wanna go home right now?"

"Because a grave error has been made and the time has come to rectify it," Usagi said. "I hope of all the things you have forgotten that your honor is not among them."

Raph growled. "Not a chance."

"And if Master Splinter defeats Leonardo-san?"

"Then we obey his orders."

Usagi felt a dark chuckle rise in his chest. "I suppose that is one change that is for the better, at least at the moment. I am not sure I have ever seen you willing to follow an order so easily"

Raph glared at him.

Leonardo led them to an empty space near where the soldiers practiced and drilled. There was no one about but themselves. Leonardo set himself across the clear area, his body almost trembling with his anger.

"We finish this now, Sensei."

"Yes, my son. We do." Splinter moved to face him. "Raphael, Michelangelo, prepare yourselves to journey home."

"You are too confident," Leonardo told him.

Splinter shook his head with sorrow in his eyes. "You have lost your true path, my son. And if this is the only way to bring you back to it, then I embrace it, but sadly."

"Sadly?" Raphael asked.

Splinter did not turn when he answered. "Even in your greatest rage, my son, you never dared challenge me this way. Leonardo's heart has been lost."

Splinter shifted into a defensive stance.

"But I will get it back for him."

Leonardo gave the barest of bows before he charged.

As they battled, Splinter's mind raced like lightning.

_He has been training with samurai, not ninja. Much of his speed has diminished, though he is stronger. He has forgotten the balance of two katana and fights more like Usagi-san with blades which are not twin._

_Can this fierce, furious creature truly be my wise, patient son?_

His heart lurched with grief.

_With the same will that sent you away to the Ancient One to find yourself, I must now defeat you to return you to yourself._

Splinter allowed Leonardo to make several attacks, hoping his rage would lessen as his body burned it away, but it did not.

_Far more lost in his anger than Raphael has ever been, but it is so much more disturbing in Leonardo's focused mind._

_It is time to undo what has been done._

Splinter rose up in a high leap and spun, blocking an inbound strike with Usagi's blade and lashing out with feet and tail too fast even to see. Leonardo dropped to the ground and both his katana spilled from his hands.

Before Leonardo could even move, Splinter perched above him, holding the daisho in a threatening strike.

"Yield, my son."

Leonardo snarled wordlessly.

Splinter caught Leonardo's eyes with his own and looked into his son's soul. With the full power of his mind, he reached to that familiar spark and forced it to listen.

"Yield, Leonardo. Now."

Leonardo slumped flat to the ground, a breath escaping him with a huff. "I yield, Master."

Splinter rose and offered his son a hand; Leonardo stubbornly ignored it.

Usagi came forward with Raphael and Michelangelo beside him.

"I remain head of this Clan," Splinter said. "Unless either of you wish to challenge me as well."

Michelangelo grabbed Raph's arm. "No, Master. No point, right?"

"Astute," Usagi said. "Even I would not dare his wrath, and I am not impaired."

Raph spun to him with a glare. "Impaired?"

"I will tell you later, my son," Splinter said. "For now, we must go." He offered the daisho back to Usagi who took it, warily watching Leonardo as he slid it away.

Leonardo was only just rising to his feet, facing away from the others, his body shaking with rage and shame.

There was a gentle clearing of throat. "Splinter-sama?"

Fuku appeared around a corner with a cart loaded with their belongings from the palace, including the Clan's relics from Master Yoshi.

Splinter nodded at him. "Thank you, Fuku-san. As soon as Usagi-san opens the portal and we pass through it, please send these along."

Fuku looked up at Splinter with sad eyes. "Will I ever see you again, Splinter-sama?"

Splinter smiled at the young squirrel. "I fear not. I wish you good health and fortune for all the kindness you have shown me."

"The Shogun will reward you," Usagi said. "I will speak to him myself for you."

Fuku's tail went bushy for a moment before he bowed.

Leonardo continued not looking at anyone even after Usagi and Splinter drew the portal upon the nearest wall and recited the chant to open it.

Splinter fixed his sons with a hard glare. "Go. And do nothing but wait for me."

Raphael and Michelangelo both bowed, Leo barely grunted. But all three hesitated before passing through the doorway and back to the lair.

Usagi bowed to Splinter. "I will acquire the rest of your belongings as I can."

"You have my profound gratitude, Usagi-san."

"I will also come to help you if you require it."

Splinter shook his head. "I cannot ask that of you. My sons will be...difficult to manage. You deserve better kindness than that from us."

"It is no burden upon me, Master Splinter. It is the debt of honor I owe to your family."

Splinter let out a breath. "Let us discuss this more when next we meet."

"As you wish." Usagi glanced at the portal. "And good luck. From what my Master told me, the adjustment period will be long and painful for you all."

"I have no doubt." Splinter closed his eyes for a moment. "But I have something far more important to hold my focus."

He opened his eyes and bowed to Usagi. "Farewell, my friend."

"Farewell, Master Splinter."

Splinter forced his mind upon one thought and one thought only as he passed from Usagi's dimension to his abandoned one.

 _My son_.

* * *


	3. Epidemic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said in a response to a review, I think this is one of my favorite chapters in the entire series, certainly in the first 4 Acts. I hope you enjoy it as I did.
> 
> One thing I'd like to announce – after next week, which concludes Act 4, there will be a 1 week break while I am at my yearly SFF convention in Minnesota. If anybody reading this is attending CONvergence 2017, let me know so we can hang out! Or at least so I can give you a fist bump. Otherwise, I'll be back as usual on July 17th to start Act 5.
> 
> I'll have a post-CONvergence announcement, too, which is really just me being super happy about something, but I've been asked not to share it publicly until then. Poke me individually and I can tell you, though. Unfortunately, nothing about this series or even this fandom. Fortunately, something about me and writing in general.
> 
> That's all I've got for now. Thank you, all of you, for continuing to astound me with your kindness and your enthusiasm!
> 
> Enjoy!

Upon arrival in the lair, Splinter took immediate command.

"From this moment on, not one of you will leave the lair. Not to go to the city, not to return to Usagi's world. No matter your feelings or the circumstances, you will remain here at all times."

Leonardo dropped his chin with a dour expression, but it was Michelangelo who frowned and asked sullenly, "Or else what? Like, what exactly are you gonna do about it?"

Splinter hardened his heart in his chest.

_There was a time you would not have dared risk my wrath so, my son. If you cannot respect me, then you must fear me for a time._

_I will be sorry when you are yourself and understand again._

With speed matched only by light streaking through space, Splinter brought his walking stick down on his son's forearm with a crack that echoed in the lair.

"Ow!"

"Do not question me again, Michelangelo."

Michelangelo rubbed his arm and ducked his head. "Yes, Master."

Splinter turned to Raphael. "And you?"

Raphael shrugged. "Doesn't matter. We probably can't get out without Donnie's codes." Then he blinked. "Where is that cowardly shellhead?"

Splinter blurred to him and struck him, too.

"Ow! What the shell?"

"I warned you not to speak so of your brother, Raphael. I will not warn you again."

Leonardo tipped his head. "What do you mean, codes?"

Raphael crossed his arms and pretended he had not been chastised. "I know it was a while ago, but last I was here, Don had some crazy ideas about making this lair impenetrable. Like, Foot Central impenetrable but without the security holes because we ain't morons."

He looked across to the main door.

"Don was sayin' somethin' about using somethin' he learned in the future to reinforce all the walls and stuff. And locking the door so it couldn't be opened without the right access, inside or outside."

"That's stupid." Leonardo scowled. "What if we had to leave in an emergency?"

"He said he was gonna build in an override but I dunno if he did."

"How can you not know?"

"Uh, 'cause I wasn't here. _Duh_."

"Hey." Michelangelo started looking around. "So where is Don? Out junkyard shopping or something?"

Splinter tapped the ground with his walking stick to draw their attention. "Your brother is not here."

"First good news of the day. We don't have to listen to his geeky whining," Raphael said.

Splinter's glare went sharp and hard. "And until you are yourselves once more, I will not reveal any more of what I know to you."

Michelangelo and Leonardo exchanged looks and shrugged, unbothered.

"Now, go into the kitchen and ascertain what supplies we have. I wish to know if I need to make arrangements for us."

"All of us?" Leonardo asked, grimacing at the thought of doing servants' work.

"All of you. Go. Now."

The three turtles made variations on a proper bow, none of them quite sincere, and moved away.

Splinter wished to take the chance to look around, to see and read all that his absent son's work in this new home would tell him of Donatello's wounded mind and spirit, but there would be time for that soon enough. He placed a hand on a pocket of his kimono where he had stowed the letter from Professor Honeycutt.

_Behind Mikey's shield from Raph's foot the night Usagi came. Yes, I recall which panel it was._

Splinter crossed to the particular access panel which had been the last straw the night he sent his sons off to the rooftops to try to release their pent-up energy. The panel was screwed over one of the electrical junctions and looked no different from dozens of similar ones across the lair. Splinter slipped the long nail of his index finger into the first screw and was not surprised when it came out easily. The others followed quickly.

The junction was empty of anything but its wires and connectors.

For a moment, Splinter's heart seized with fear.

_No. He could not risk someone figuring it out. He would not forsake us._

Splinter reached a hand into the junction and began to feel around. When his fingers touched the wall just below the panel inside the junction, he came upon a thick envelope taped down. This he pulled out, then silently replaced the panel.

Splinter ghosted over towards the kitchen area where his remaining sons were having a rather noisy argument about food. Certain they would be at it for at least several minutes, Splinter slipped into a blind corner and pulled a stack of paper free from the envelope.

To his surprise, the packet was not written in English or Japanese. Rather, it was in a language of the future world they had visited.

_Another security measure, I believe. Donatello would not risk his knowledge to fall into any hands but those he could trust. Our months with Cody exposed us to this language, but I wonder how much I can recall._

Yet, while he shuffled through papers, more of the meaning became clear as it came back to him. If not for the natural ease of the language itself, Splinter might have had a difficult time – but this language, like Esperanto, was an invented dialect based upon several Earth languages. Once Splinter recalled the logic by which English had been molded into it, the rest was easier.

_I do not want my sons to yet understand how to leave this place._

Paging through the various notes and instructions, Splinter found what he was hoping for: "Complete Lair Lockdown Procedures."

Splinter read the instructions twice before he sneaked to the computer Donatello had embedded in the wall nearest the front door. He carefully keyed in the commands left to him and was rewarded by a heavy clanking sound as the main door was triple-bolted. A similar clanking could be heard from other places around the lair, places where either Donatello had installed an escape hatch or where the lair was only a panel or a duct away from the outside sewer. Only electricity, water, and filtered air could enter the lair now, all through pipes too small for even Stockman's mousers to climb.

Splinter tucked the instructions away in his kimono and moved to the kitchen where his sons had fallen silent at the clanking.

"What was that?" Leonardo asked.

"I have sealed the lair to ensure our protection and to enforce my orders."

"You didn't have to do that," Raphael said.

"You do not always obey me when in a healthy frame of mind. At the moment, I do not trust you at all, my son."

"Okay, enough with the hints!" Michelangelo waved his arms a little dramatically. "Why do you think we're impaired or sick or whatever you said? _We're_ fine! Maybe _you're_ the one who's sick!"

"It would make sense," Leonardo said, considering Splinter. "Perhaps you are not as recovered from your illness as we thought."

Splinter's tail twisted and it was only a lifetime of discipline that kept Splinter from venting his anger more obviously.

"No, my sons. Master Yoshi gave me a great gift of clarity in a time when I had lost my own. It is now my duty to restore yours as well."

He moved towards the array of couches and gestured for his sons to follow.

"Sit down. Let me tell you what I have learned of the dangers in spending too long in a world not our own."

-==OOO==-

After the lengthy explanation – and argument – that followed, Splinter ordered his sons to begin unpacking the wagon of belongings, mostly his and Leonardo's from the palace. He sat at the door to his room where he could see them moving back and forth with armfulls.

Eventually Leonardo assembled a pile of kimono and other clothing items that had to be carried upstairs to his room. "Hey. Help me with this, you two," he said.

Raphael looked as though he were going to object, but Leonardo waggled his eye-ridges and Raphael quickly grabbed Michelangelo and started scooping up brocades and silks.

"Sure. We can do this all in one trip, right bro?"

Michelangelo nodded with too-wide eyes. "Right."

The three tromped up the stairs with their loads, disappearing into Leonardo's room.

"What're we gonna do, Leo?" Raph asked as soon as they were out of earshot. "Master Splinter's clearly cracked."

"We can't go against his orders," Michelangelo said. "We just can't."

"We don't have to." Leonardo shook his head. "Look, it'll be at least three weeks before Usagi comes here with the rest of our stuff. Probably closer to three and a half because he has to go all the way to my han, then to the village, then chasing your little band around wherever they are."

"So?"

Leonardo gave Raph a withering glance. "When Usagi arrives, we'll convince him that being here has made Master Splinter ill. He will have to take us back to his world for treatment. Then I'll speak to the Shogun who can give the order that we be allowed to remain."

Michelangelo frowned. "How exactly are you gonna make Usagi think Master Splinter is sick? Gonna whip up a case of the flu?"

"If I have to."

Raph looked stricken. "You ain't seriously gonna hurt him, are ya?"

"Of course not. But a little food poisoning goes a long way. He's strong enough to survive it until we get him to the healers."

"Oh yuck!" Michelangelo covered his mouth with his hands. "Just make sure you do it, like, as late as possible, okay? I don't wanna live down here with a permanently puking Sensei."

"Don't worry. I'll be careful."

Unbeknownst to all three, Splinter himself stood just outside the open door to Leonardo's room.

_Three and a half weeks. Very well._

_I shall make you a deal, my sons._

_If in this amount of time you do not come to your senses, I shall take you to the Battle Nexus to see that Daimyo instead. I am certain his powers could correct what has been done more easily than anything I might attempt in this time._

_But I want you to find the truth for yourselves. I believe your true freedom will only come when it is born in your own hearts._

_So for the next three weeks, I shall do all I can to cleanse you, body and mind, of the pollution of another world's magic._

His nose twitched, the only external evidence of his feelings.

_And I shall watch you especially closely, Leonardo. You will not catch me off-guard. Until you are the son I love and trust, you will be traitor and deceiver close to my side._

_Please find your true path soon, my son. Great will be the wounds in all our hearts when this is over._

-==OOO==-

In their first morning back in the lair, Splinter woke Leonardo so long before dawn it could hardly be called morning, extremely early even by the morning-turtle's standards.

"Leonardo. Rise and assemble your brothers in the dojo at once."

Leonardo grumbled something insensible.

"You have woken more easily from more difficult sleeping places than the floor of my room. Wake at once."

Splinter watched his son roll uncoordinatedly in the sleeping bag before he oriented himself to it and started crawling out.

"Why so early?" he asked.

"Because that is my order, Leonardo."

Leonardo's hateful, half-asleep expression went darker, but he stood and strode from the room, Splinter's eyes on him continuously.

_I am sorry for your discomfort, my son, but until you begin to show improvement, I will not let you out of my sight in case you forget your honor and open a doorway back to the other world against my wishes. Raphael and Michelangelo do not know how to create a portal, so they may have some privacy in their own bedrooms._

_As may you again – when you are yourself once more._

Raphael's voice was suddenly upraised enough to echo in the lair.

"What the _shell_ are you doin' wakin' me so early, Leo? Go the shell away! Leave me 'lone!"

There was a pause.

"Well you tell 'im he's _lost it_ and I _ain't_ gettin' outta bed!"

The sounds of an ominous silence were immediately followed by the sounds of struggle and the unmistakeable crash of a shell in a hammock against a solid wall.

" _Leo, you shellhead!_ "

The noise of thrashing and accompanying cursing followed Leonardo out Raphael's door. He marched to Michelangelo's which he opened with a sharp kick.

Splinter could hear Michelangelo fall out of his bed with a cry.

"What? Where? Who? Huh?"

A moment later, Leonardo stomped out of Michelangelo's room, the orange-banded turtle stumbling after him and rubbing his eyes. Passing Raphael's door, Michelangelo's eyes opened wide and he started to move faster.

They were on the stairs when Raphael came barreling out of his room like a rampaging bull.

"Why the _shell_ are we up so early?"

Splinter stepped out to the floor and faced them. "For training. All of you have gone too long without keeping up your skills."

Raphael's bloodshot eyes went murderous and Leonardo and Michelangelo both stepped out of his path as he rounded on Splinter.

"I _ain't_ training so early! You _can't_ make me!"

Splinter drew himself up and faced his son. "Yes. I can."

Four hours later, lying on the dojo mats and panting with exhaustion, Raphael closed his eyes.

"Shell. He really can."

-==OOO==-

The second morning in the lair, Splinter woke his sons just as early, and received rather similar reactions from them as he drove them into the dojo again. He stopped long enough to give them all a cup of tea and a few slices of toast before he called for sparring which kept them focused and gave them a vent for their frustration.

And though they were sore and exhausted from the unexpected six hours of training the day before, he pushed them just as hard and punished them swiftly if they complained.

After lunch, he ordered them back into the dojo for an additional two hours.

Not one of his sons bothered to stay awake until dinner.

-==OOO==-

By the fifth morning, Leonardo was waking of his own accord and Raphael was able to force himself to join them in the dojo with a minimum of swearing. All three turtles had also learned to eat a light breakfast in the short break Splinter gave them, and and to force down some lunch before yet another session on the mats as well.

They had also learned it served them better to go to bed right after dinner if they wanted any chance of getting enough sleep before another brutal day.

Splinter knew he was pushing them far too hard, far too mercilessly.

But more importantly, Splinter knew he needed to control them, bodies and minds, until the poison of delusion fell from them. He could not let them take time to think, or scheme, or resist. He could not let them gain the energy to crave a return to the other world or to defy his orders.

Additionally, it was only their exhaustion that was keeping them from feeling other effects of the loss of the dimension to which they had become essentially addicted. Splinter alone, therefore, felt a sort of shaky withdrawal of which he had read and seen much on television, but had never imagined he would experience himself. Just as his sons suffered under his scolding and demanding training, he suffered quietly without betraying a twitch of his own severe discomfort to them; he dared not show them any weakness, for fear they might revolt.

Splinter hoped that keeping his sons' bodies confused would aid in more quickly reorienting them to the truth.

Between rounds in the dojo, Splinter fed them tea laced with herbs and simple, cleansing foods. He did not attempt to get them to meditate even though he knew it might help because they were simply too tired to manage it before lapsing into sleep.

And at night, when they slept wearied beyond belief, he moved amongst them silently, touching their faces and mourning his treatment of them.

_Still, it is for their own good._

_It is a bitter, difficult medicine, but it will save our family. Anything is worth that price._

-==OOO==-

On the morning of the seventh day in the lair, Splinter waited for his sons to assemble as usual. Rather than beginning at once, he gave them each full mugs of an herbal mixture. They drank it without complaint, almost asleep and numb from the week of exhaustion, in spite of the fact that it tasted terrible and smelled far worse.

Once the mixture was consumed, he gave them each several tall glasses of water and let them drink them at their own pace, though he kept them on the mats before him until they were finished.

Then he sent them back to bed for a few hours before he fed them a large lunch comprised almost entirely of rice and many stir-fried frozen vegetables, lightly seasoned.

Instead of training, he assigned them each tasks that would take time and concentration, such as repairing a few mats in the dojo that had been broken in their intense training or sanding several wooden poles into new bokken.

Dinner was rice and more of the herbal mixture, this time with chamomile added to help them sleep. Almost as soon as they had washed the dishes, their eyes dimmed and yawns interrupted their words.

Michelangelo stumbled with Raphael up to their rooms at once but Leonardo fought his tiredness with an effort.

"Master Splinter?"

"Yes, my son?"

"Why are you doing this?"

Splinter's heart felt cold and cracked but he did not waver as he answered. "You will understand in time, my son."

Leonardo looked like he wanted to argue, but another yawn took him and instead he made a slight bow and headed to Splinter's room to his bed on the floor.

_You will understand, my son, of this I am certain. Already you have lost your furious need to fight me. You are not yet the son I knew, but you are not the son I feared you might have become anymore._

_Trust me, my son. I will help you find yourself again._

_And then we will find your brothers._

_All of them._

-==OOO==-

Raph was sitting around the fire laughing at something Togi, the newest addition to his little band of protectors of the han, had said when a cold wind extinguished the flames.

Raph jumped to his feet, drawing his sai. "Who's there?"

"Raphael."

Raph shivered as an icy chill ran down his spine.

"Show yourself!" he yelled.

A familiar form ambled forward, lit from within by a sickly, pale glow.

Raph felt his hands go limp and his sai fell. "Master...Splinter?"

"Raphael."

Raph gulped at the skeletal appearance of his father. Much of his fur had gone stark white and stood out in clumps. His eyes seemed too big, and they were just black holes in his face.

One gaunt, fleshless hand extended towards him. "Raphael."

"Master! What happened to you?"

"You betrayed me, Raphael."

"I didn't! I wouldn't!"

"You have."

The spectral Splinter took another step forward. Raphael became aware of a figure behind him, a shadow that was lit, too, but with darkness somehow.

"What's that?" Raph could barely get the question out from where it seemed lodged in his chest.

"Your betrayal has done more harm than to me, Raphael. Do you not even know your own flesh and blood?"

The shadowy figure gained eyes. Eyes that blazed with hate behind a purple bandana.

Raph took another step back. "M-Master? Is that…?"

Raph sat bolt-upright, which set his hammock to swinging. He ran a hand over his head and was not surprised when it came away covered with sweat.

"Holy...shell."

-==OOO==-

Ten days after their arrival in the lair, Raphael spoke up over lunch.

"Master Splinter, do you think we could practice meditation today? I mean, I know it ain't my thing, but...now I kinda miss it."

Splinter's heart swelled with hope.

"Yes, my son. That is an excellent idea."

-==OOO==-

Michelangelo was running, running for his life.

A tree which had somehow sprouted legs was chasing him. And it was on fire.

"Note to self: no more mixing Splinter's nasty tea with my secret stash of candy at bedtime anymore!" he yelled to himself as he ran.

Then he paused.

"Hey. Wait. This is a dream."

He turned to the tree that burned.

"And with the power of my Mikey brain, I turn you into, uh, a pizza!"

Lightning cracked the sky and the tree vanished in a poof of orange smoke.

But in its place stood Silver Sentry.

"Hey! You're not a pizza!"

"Turtle Titan, we've been calling you. The world needed you."

Mikey gulped. "Uh...heh. I've been...uh...out of town?"

Silver Sentry shook his head. "You weren't there. You didn't save us."

He threw something to the ground at Michelangelo's feet. Mikey could barely look down.

It was his Turtle Titan cape. But it was covered with blood.

"Hey! Wait! That's...it can't be blood, right? It's purple."

Silver Sentry turned his back. "It _is_ blood, Michelangelo. _Your_ blood which you failed to save."

When Leonardo shook Mikey awake in the morning, Mikey had to pretend to be blinded by the light from the hallway to wipe away the cold tears that stuck to his cheeks.

-==OOO==-

"Hey Raphie?"

Raphael looked to where Mikey sat breathing heavily beside him while Leonardo faced off against Master Splinter. They'd been in the lair just about two weeks, and finally this regime was starting to feel normal again – even though their training had never been so intense before.

But training, and being here, and being ninja, that was all a lot more familiar.

"If we got any energy after we're done, you wanna go watch a movie or something this afternoon?"

Raph blinked. He'd forgotten movies even existed. "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin', bro?"

"I am if you're thinking about Super Explosive Kickboxing Part 2!"

Raph made a small smile. "Sounds good."

-==OOO==-

"Master Splinter?"

"What is it, Raphael?"

Raph rolled his shoulders. "Something about this formation feels off to me somehow."

"Yeah!" Mikey bounced on the balls of his feet. "Like, every time you come at us, we lose you in the blind spot."

"They've got a point, Sensei," Leonardo said. "Can't we close into a smaller triangle, or maybe an arrow shape?"

Splinter crossed his arms and his eyes snapped sharply with something none of his sons could quite identify.

"Absolutely not. Out of the question. Take your positions and we will try it again."

As the three turtles shuffled to their spots, Raph glanced across to Leo.

"Feels like something still ain't right."

Leo nodded. "But I can't put my finger on what, exactly."

"That," came Splinter's voice, "is precisely the point. And until you recognize it, we will continue this way."

"Oh great." Mikey sighed and waved his arms dramatically. "We're gonna get creamed forever!"

"I hope not, my son. I sincerely hope not."

-==OOO==-

"Leonardo."

Leonardo dropped his forehead to rest on the ground. "You honor me, Shogun."

"Yes, I do. And in recompense for my generosity, I require you to complete a task on my behalf."

"Anything, Shogun. My katana are yours."

"Confined at Kozukappara are several cowardly, dishonorable traitors. They do not deserve the honor of your blade, Leonardo, but I ask that you wield it against them regardless."

"Yes, Shogun. I will go at once."

Leonardo rode through the streets of Edo to Kozukappara, which was some distance outside the city. He had never been to the execution grounds before, but there was no chance of missing them; the scent of burning flesh and blood was carried on the wind to him long before he reached the area.

The guards who met him did not look into his face, being of lower rank, but they escorted him to where several figures had been bound and blindfolded, kneeling in mud that bore traces of red.

"Remove their hoods," Leonardo ordered. "They will face their deaths and perhaps earn a breath of honor before the end."

The guards rushed to obey.

Leonardo carried out the sentences quickly, his blades sharp and his swings hard and quick to bring death on swift, clean wings.

As he turned to go, one guard held out a hand.

"You should take these with you."

Leonardo blinked at the trailing colors that hung like ribbons in the guard's hands. Red and orange, a strand of red-blonde hair, the trailing white of velcro straps, a brown robe belt...

He turned back.

Lying headless in the blood-soaked mud were so many figures he now remembered he had not even seen as he killed them.

Michelangelo.

Raphael.

April.

Casey.

Master Splinter.

The Ancient One.

Hamato Yoshi.

"I...I killed them! I killed them all!"

Leo woke with a scream trapped in his throat. He gulped at it, trying to force it down.

_A dream. Just a dream. Nothing else._

He glanced across the room to where Splinter slept quietly, his breathing audible.

_Just a dream._

But his spirit was still gagging on horror and Leonardo could not just close his eyes and go back to sleep. Instead, employing every ounce of stealth and silence he had ever learned, he crept from the sleeping-bag and made his way out into the lair.

Compulsively, Leo slipped into Raph's room, then Mikey's, to ensure they were still okay and had not been beheaded lately. They were fine – Raph snoring with his usual ear-shattering decibels, Mikey kicking the blankets and licking his pillow in his sleep – but the sight of them whole and well did not ease Leonardo's unsettling feelings.

If anything, he was more upset than before.

_I'll meditate. Maybe that'll help._

He entered his own bedroom and shut the door behind him before clicking on a soft light. It took him a moment to orient himself in the room – he had been in it very little in the last eighteen days. But it was neatly ordered just as he liked it.

Leonardo moved to the mat on the floor and sat, facing several lovely screens and hangings that had been meticulously arranged for aesthetic appeal.

Leonardo fixed his eyes on the swirl of blues and whites that denoted an ocean wave before he shut them to seek such balance within himself.

But his thoughts refused to quiet.

_I shouldn't have let that dream get to me._

_It was just a dream._

_Although, nobody really wants to dream about beheading their own Clan._

_But…_

_April?_

_Casey?_

_Are they...Clan?_

_Of course they're Clan. Of course they are._

_They've been Clan for years._

_But I haven't seen them lately._

_I wonder why._

_I mean, we've been here almost three weeks._

_Three weeks…_

_I was going to do something about now._

_Something…_

_Usagi should be coming soon._

_I was…_

_I was going to poison Master Splinter?_

_That can't be right._

_Except...I wanted to go back._

_Well, yeah but…_

_Poisoning Master Splinter?_

_How could I even think of doing that?_

_I must have been…_

_I must have been…_

_...out of my mind._

_Wait._

_Is it possible?_

_Master Splinter's been saying something like that..._

_That there was something wrong. That we were…_

_...that Usagi's world had…_

_...had changed us._

_Had changed our thinking._

_Master Splinter has been trying to help us._

_To...get us back to who we really are._

_Am I...different?_

_No._

_I feel like myself._

_But...in Usagi's world…_

_Oh shell…_

_Oh shell…_

_Oh shell…_

_What have I done?_

Memories flooded into his now-racing mind. Memories of feeling relief that Michelangelo had found someplace to be other than underfoot – where there should have been concern for his brother's wellbeing. Memories of slowly leaning on Raphael during his trips back and forth between dimensions to just stop returning at all and stay in the new world they were claiming as their own – where he should have been trying to get home as soon as he could.

Memories of slowly filling his days and his mind with the Daimyo and with being Heir and with Edo and with the Shogun. Memories of seeking approval and power rather than honor and the security of his Clan.

Memories of putting his position above his family.

Memories of Master Splinter's awakening being less about his father and more about another pawn he could use in his game of power in Edo.

And then.

Memories of Splinter declaring they were returning home and his own disgraceful conduct.

Memories of dishonorably resisting the orders given by his Sensei and the head of their Clan.

Memories of actually challenging Master Splinter in a vicious duel for no other reason than his own selfishness.

_Father. Father, how could I?_

_Father I...I'm so sorry._

_I've...I've failed._

_I have to go beg his forgiveness. Right now._

Leonardo was pushing up from the mat before his eyes had entirely opened. He stared around the room as if he had never seen it before.

_Wait._

_I haven't seen it before._

_Not like this._

_I didn't do this._

_Donatello did this._

_Donatello._

_Oh shell..._

Leonardo's vision swirled and he stumbled backwards to sit on his bed or risk falling. The room before him bobbed and weaved almost mockingly.

And yet, one thing seemed to stand out to him now. In a room that was wobbly and spinning, one anchor held still.

Leonardo took a deep, deep breath before he returned to his feet, drawn by the pull of that single item.

It was a book in his bookshelf.

_Where did I get a bookshelf? Where did these books come from?_

But he knew. With a pang in his stomach, and worse in his heart, he knew.

He focused on the book in his hands. It was a simple, brown notebook, well-worn, and its edges curved. It showed evidence of some water damage, and many smudges of dirt or soot or oil. Its covers were almost smooth.

Leonardo could not have said why his heart quaked with terror as he opened it.

But the handwriting, familiar, _so familiar_ , punched the very air from his lungs.

_Donnie?_

Leo began paging through it, and the mess of his feelings in his heart and his stomach grew with every page.

He read the lists of tasks that went on and on, tasks slotted to fill up day after day. He didn't need his brother's – _My brother! Donatello is my brother! What the shell was I thinking?_ – genius mind to calculate weeks and months of too much work, too little food, too little rest.

The deeper into the book he paged, the stranger the entries became.

_Calculate precise ordering of posters in Mikey's room._

_Research rock gardening for optimum level of polish on stones._

_Calculate tensile strength of experimental punching bags for Raph_

_Mold wax of varying densities, color-coded, for options for katana work_

Leonardo kept skimming through the book.

He came upon a full four-hour block dedicated to nothing but arranging the screens and hangings in his room, and several sheets of equations trying to determine the optimal placements of each. He found similar work devoted to Mikey's room, and Raph's.

 _Hours and hours he sat here._ Leo glanced at the mat he had abandoned. _Hours he sat here trying to figure out what configuration would make me the happiest. Long after I had decided never to come back._

Almost feverishly, Leonardo shoved out his door and made his way along the line of bedrooms to the one door he had not opened in almost three weeks – to say nothing of the months before.

His heart constricting in his throat, Leo entered Donatello's own room.

Whatever he had been anticipating, it wasn't the barrenness he encountered.

Donatello's room was neat, fanatically so, but that was mostly because it was largely empty. A drafting desk sat against the wall nearest the door, but there was nothing on it, not even blank paper. The walls were totally unadorned. There were several cabinets or shelves, and those that held items were fastidiously ordered, but most were empty. There was nothing in the room that spoke of anyone ever inhabiting it; it was as vacant as a motel room.

There was but one aberration and Leonardo moved towards it through air that felt thick and sharp as if it were filled with knives.

Donatello's Shell Cell sat, dusty, on the small table beside the plastic-covered, unsheeted mattress. Leo moved to stare at it, setting the notebook down so he could lift the phone into his fingers, surprised how alien and yet familiar the item felt.

Once, he could barely imagine moving an inch without it in his hands or his belt.

_But I haven't picked one up since we got here. I haven't...called anyone._

_No one's called us, either._

_How…_

_How could this have happened?_

_How could I have let this happen?_

Leonardo looked up at a sound in the doorway.

"Raph?"

Raphael flicked on the room's overhead light which made the emptiness even more stark with all its white, empty walls and shelves and that bare mattress like a dead thing in the corner.

"Finally got there, huh?"

Leo blinked. "Got where? What the _shell_ is going on? Where's Don? What's…?"

Raph leaned on the doorframe with his arms crossed, but Leo knew his brother so well. At least, he had once, he remembered, and now was beginning to relearn what should have been second-nature.

_When did I forget?_

Raph's body-language was _meant_ to look calm and collected, but Leonardo guessed that his brother was only barely holding himself together.

"Master Splinter said he thought you would figure it out soon. My money was on Mikey, since you always were a stubborn shellhead too sure you were completely right."

Leo flushed and he didn't care if it was with anger or embarrassment. "What are you talking about?"

"Sensei was right about us. That bein' in Usagi's world did somethin' to us. And we all changed. It took us all differently. Mikey stopped bein' a goofball and was all happy to sit down and farm or whatever they did in that village for fun. I stopped thinkin' about watchin your back and his and just set out to kick some shell. And you…"

Leo flinched at the cold smirk; coming from Raph, it was pure damnation.

"...Well, you just turned out to be Mister Perfect Heir, didn't you? But not so much bein' our leader. Or our _brother_."

Leonardo opened his mouth to fire back but stopped.

_What can I say? He's right._

_I...failed my family. I forgot my family._

_How could I?_

"A course," Raph said, and if he hadn't spoken Leo might have collapsed inward into a hurricane of guilt and recrimination, "it ain't like it's totally your fault, either. Master Splinter said it was like gettin' a virus from bein' there too long."

"But you weren't there as much as Mikey and me," Leo said, shaking his head, barely surfacing. "You came back here for a while with Donnie."

"Yeah, but Sensei gave me this whole speech about how goin' back and forth was almost worse."

Suddenly Raph flinched and Leo remembered something almost-forgotten from an earlier conversation between Raph and Splinter where Raph had admitted to hurting Donatello in a fight.

"What did you do to him?" Leo's voice went breathless and tight.

Raph's whole body twitched and his eyes narrowed and darkened. "Worse than I've ever done to you. Or Mikey. Worse than I did to some Foot. I...I hurt 'im _bad_ , Leo."

"Where is he?" Leonardo's panic was growing. "Why isn't he here? Is he with Casey and April? How come they haven't called?"

"I dunno," Raph said, and the words sounded like they cut him to say. "Sensei wouldn't tell me until you and Mikey figured it out."

"Figured what out?" came a sleepy voice.

Michelangelo stood behind Raph, rubbing his eyes.

"What are you doing up?" Leo couldn't help but ask.

_Once a big brother, always a big brother._

_Except I wasn't._

_Oh shell._

_How am I going to live with this?_

_How...how are we all going to live with this?_

_...How did Donnie live with it?_

"I had a bad dream and was gonna see if I could sneak into Raph's room. I figured his snoring would keep any bad dreams far away unless they wanted to go deaf." He shrugged. "Why're you guys up? And what're you doing in here?"

Leonardo could see it in Michelangelo – a hazy confusion when he looked at the name on the door. _Almost as if he doesn't remember having another turtle in his life, as if he never had a third brother._ Leonardo gulped and stepped forward, holding out the little notebook with a burst of inspiration.

"Mikey, take this and go read it. That's an order. Come back when you're done unless you figure it out sooner."

Michelangelo accepted the book with one hand, idly paging through it. "Leo, it's the middle of the night and this'll take _forever_ to read all the way through!"

"Then you better hope you figure it out sooner."

Michelangelo looked like he was going to argue until he got identically closed and angry expressions from both brothers. He held his hands up in surrender.

"Okay. Fine. See you in a _year_." And he flounced back to his bedroom.

Leonardo's hands felt numb with the book no longer nearby, so he focused on the Shell Cell he had yet to set down.

Raph moved into the room. "Leo. I don't…"

"I know." Leonardo sank down on the edge of the mattress and Raph sat beside him. "What do we do now?"

Raph shook his head. "Wait for Mikey to figure it out, I guess. And then Sensei will tell us."

"How long have you known?"

"Couple of days." Raph shrugged and it was not at all careless; it was _agonized_. "I...it was like bein' alone even though you were right here." He made a small, helpless sound. "Serves me right, ya know?"

"How do you figure?"

"'Cause that's what we did to _him_ , isn't it? Made him think he was crazy? Think he was different from us? That he didn't…" Raph's words stopped suddenly and he turned away.

Leonardo put an arm around Raph's shell and was grateful when Raph put his own arm out so they could lean on each other.

They sat like that, in silence, for an hour.

Then Mikey came bursting into the room, eyes wide and wet.

"What happened to Donnie?"

A tap behind him drew all their attention to Splinter standing in the doorway.

"Come, my sons. There is a long and difficult tale to tell." His eyes dropped and all three turtles felt icy fear creep up their spines.

"Master?" Raph asked with almost fragile hesitation.

"And I fear that this tale does not yet end well."

* * *


	4. Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your well-wishes for my convention to come. I'm already barely sleeping in anticipation. I almost certainly won't reply to comments on this chapter until after the convention, but that doesn't mean I won't read them – and maybe share them with con-going friends!
> 
> As a reminder, I won't be posting next Monday, but the week after. That gives you a whole extra week to freak out or do whatever you do when I leave you hanging. When I get back, we'll begin Act 5, Donatello's adventure.
> 
> In the meantime, I hope this chapter finds you well! You all are amazing and I am continually surprised and touched by all your comments and thoughts and speculations.
> 
> Enjoy!

Nobody bothered to go back to bed. The fact that all of them had begun their day in the middle of the night didn't matter.

Who could sleep?

Splinter made large mugs of tea for everyone while they sat before him in his room and he told all he knew of what had happened to Donatello in their absence. He read the letter from Professor Honeycutt twice and handed over the instructions he had taken from the wall on the operation of the lair.

And yet there were many questions he simply could not answer.

Splinter did not know when Donatello had left, or if he ever planned to come back.

He did not know what other injuries might be behind the hints in the letter, and Raphael's memory of his fight with his brother was not clear enough to do more than infuriate him and everyone else. He remembered what he had done – he did not remember if or how Donatello had been hurt otherwise.

But perhaps worst of all, Splinter did not know where to find any additional answers.

"Why don't we just go to the Battle Nexus?" Raph had asked almost at once. "That Daimyo could grab Don from wherever he is in a second!"

"I considered it myself," Splinter said. "While you slept one evening, I made an attempt to reach the Battle Nexus to consult with him. But the moment I opened the portal, I could feel the wrongness at the edge of my mind once more. I could not be certain I would remember my errand upon arrival. I fear we must wait some more before we dare leaving this dimension for another, or we may be lost once more."

"But…" Mikey began.

"No, he's right." Leo had to force the words past grit teeth. "If we forget...we might never remember. We'll just have to do what we can from here."

"Gimme that again," Raph said, reaching for the letter from the Professor. He had read it four times, but there was always the chance he would find something. He had to keep trying.

They all did.

"The letter speaks as if Donatello intended to meet our friends at some prearranged time," Splinter said after they had picked apart every word once again.

"But when? And how?" Leo asked. He scrubbed at his face. "Shell! He said something to me about Casey and April when he came to Edo...before I threw him out."

Mikey reached over and gripped Leo's shoulder to keep him from being lost in the swamping guilt that permeated the very air around all three brothers. The only reason any of them weren't groveling on the floor begging Splinter and each other for forgiveness was that they'd already done so once, and they feared if they started over, they might never be able to get up again.

"Do you remember what he said?" Raph asked.

Leo sighed. "He said something had happened, but I didn't ask what. I didn't even _care_."

"Our first day here, I attempted to contact them using the phones we have always shared," Splinter said. "But the connection was never made. I believe it is what we have seen when one phone is destroyed."

"They could be hurt. They could be _dead_!" Raph smashed his fists on the ground, his shoulders shaking. "For all we know, somethin' took 'em out...and Don too...before he even went off with that batty Professor. Or they coulda gotten turned around and ended up in the Triceraton Arena again! He...Donnie could be..." A howl bubbled up in his throat.

"Calmly, my son." Splinter held out a hand before Raphael could explode. "You must have faith in your brother and in our friends. And besides, my heart tells me that Donatello is still alive. I believe we would all know if he had been killed."

"Not dead don't mean he's okay," Raph shot back darkly.

"No, it does not." Splinter let out his own sigh. "I have attempted to reach him through meditation many times in the last several days, but never can I seem to find his spirit. It is as though he were in another world, as we were before."

"Then we gotta find April and Casey," Mikey said. "There's no way Don went anywhere without telling them about it."

Raph turned on him. "And how do we do that?"

"How do you _think_?" Mikey crossed his arms. "We go over to their place and we look for them. Maybe they're fine and they just got rid of the phones since we weren't here to talk to."

"Somehow, my gut says it's not that simple," Leo said. "Don wouldn't have been so frazzled if there was nothing wrong. But it's the only place we have to start."

"However, we must be cautious," Splinter warned. "From what Usagi-san told me of Donatello's condition, he suggested there had been several battles, and perhaps a fire."

"Fire!" Suddenly Raph leaped to his feet. "I'm so _stupid_!"

Leo and Mikey jumped to flank him, as he was clearly a half-second from storming off for a turtle tantrum of epic proportions.

"What is it?" Leo's voice was sharp.

"He...when he came to see me. I...I was ticked off at him because...he let the Purple Dragons burn down Casey and April's place."

"The Purple Dragons did _what_?" Mikey screeched.

Raph's eyes were dark with rage and shame. "He said...the Dragons were leanin' on 'em to find us...and he was tryin' to protect them himself...same as we did before I left. He said...the whole shop was ruined again."

"And that's why you attacked him." It wasn't a question, and the stillness in Leo's tone was judgment enough.

Raph's head hung down. "Yeah. I told 'im...it was his fault. 'Cause he doesn't kill his enemies."

Leo sucked in a breath. "He...he told me that. I didn't give it any thought at the time."

"Well, apparently none of us were thinking clearly." Mikey kicked at the floor. "It's weird remembering and not being able to understand what I was doing or why. It's weird thinking about Donnie and going that long without even seeing him."

"It's weird how much about Donatello we forgot," Leo said.

Splinter rose to face them. "And for that reason, I do not want any of you leaving the lair yet."

Three voices chorused in indignation and denial. "But Master!"

Splinter shook his head. "Two of you have changed profoundly in the last several hours, my sons, but the insidious influence of the other world may not yet be gone. I dare not send you away so quickly only for your minds to revert."

Then Splinter sighed, deep and pain-filled.

"And after so much time, a few days will make little difference to Donatello."

Raph shook for a moment before he broke away from the others. "I need some air. Just...give me some space. Okay?"

No one bothered to stop him – he couldn't yet leave the lair, and in truth, he didn't want to.

The lair was the strongest tie he had left to Donatello.

Raph considered the dojo, but then figured Leo would end up in there as soon as his feelings boiled over, too, so he instead headed for a spot he was sure nobody would search. After all, other than Don, nobody else really knew the ins and outs of the lair.

Nobody knew about Don's secondary escape-hatch hidden in the alcove next to the kitchen.

_Well, that probably ain't true. Master Splinter read all those pages. It might be in there._

_But I'm betting he ain't gonna try to find me here._

Raph ducked into the alcove. He reached for a brick, his mind swimming with a memory of Donatello babbling happily about how a spot like this would be perfect for a secret back way out of the lair in case of trouble, as long as it wasn't a load-bearing wall, and how he would figure that out as soon as he got some other things cleared off the list.

_From that book Leo had, it looks like he did a lot more than we ever had on the list._

_I guess he had to._

_It was probably either work or go crazy._

Raph's fingers found the catch under one of the bricks that opened a narrow doorway in the wall – almost too small for him to fit through even turning sideways, and yet wide enough that Raph could have thrown himself through it at full speed if necessary. Once inside, the door slid shut and a light clicked on, leaving Raph in a narrow corridor that went down a few steps. But the corridor stopped a handful of yards later against a solid metal plate.

_The lockdown Sensei initiated. I guess this is as far as I can go._

Raph sat heavily on the bottom step and stared at the metal sheet cutting the lair off from the outside world. After a moment, he noticed a sort of shimmer to it, as if it were wet.

Raph pushed to his feet and ran a hand along the metal panel. Up close, he could see that it had been coated in something that probably made it stronger than ever.

_Strong enough to protect us._

_Donnie was always strong enough to protect us._

His fingers encountered a raised feature on the wall and Raph had to squint and shift to the right angle before he could make it out.

_Looks like those symbols from the lair that was connected to those ancient underground people. I wonder if Don scavenged our old home for supplies. He shouldn't have. It would have been stupidly dangerous since everybody and their brother knew about it. The Foot trashed that place and we barely got anything from it when we moved to the pump station._

_But...if he was alone...and desperate..._

Peering at the symbol, Raph suddenly remembered their first trip to the Underground City, back when Sidney had still been trapped in the body of Quarry and before they had learned the truth about the people who had used that series of underground tunnels and outposts, one of which had been their ill-fated second lair.

Raph remembered Donatello vanishing before their eyes, snagged by the last survivor of the underground race, or so he had claimed.

He remembered the sudden, _boiling_ rage that had washed through him. His screams for his brother, his fury.

He remembered Leo saying in response to Michelangelo's and Quarry's fear, " _We're not leaving! Whatever's haunting this place has made the mistake of snatching one of ours_."

He remembered seeing the Underground City for the first time and having only one thought.

" _And we'll level this whole city just to get him back!_ "

He had meant it with all his heart and soul then. He would have torn it apart brick by brick with his bare hands, fought a thousand rock monsters, waded into the lava itself to save Don. Why – _why –_ hadn't he remembered? _How_ could he have left Don alone?

How could he have deserted his brother?

Raph's fists fell upon the unmoving wall and he screamed his rage until his voice gave out and his hands were numb.

The blood he left on the wall hid the tears that dried there.

-==OOO==-

Leo watched Raph go with a heavy heart. His own chest felt like bursting.

"My son."

Leo looked fearfully up at Splinter. He could barely meet his father's eyes. The shame that burned his skin was biting into his soul and there was nothing he could do to make it right.

"Go," Splinter said. "Though peace may yet elude us all, I believe a moment seeking it may help you."

"...Father." Leo's voice stoppered closed. "I'm...I'm…"

Splinter held up a hand. "I know, my son. All that you feel, I know."

Leo decided to take the invitation to flee his Sensei's pained, sympathetic eyes before either of them broke down any farther. He gave a real bow, a proper bow as he'd been taught by Splinter, and headed out into the lair.

Leo glanced at the dojo but figured Raph might want to work off some anger, so instead he ducked through a door to a place he knew no one would dare enter.

Donatello's lab.

The fact that the lab was absolutely silent, the only noise the occasional whir of a fan circulating air, disturbed Leo. The lab was _always_ a place of noise and motion, of chaos and answers. The physical manifestation of Donatello's active, lively mind and spirit.

But now...it felt almost dead.

Leo found himself stepping up to the nearest cabinet and opening it, as if he were looking for something.

_My brother. I am looking for Donnie. And even if he isn't here, surely he left something of himself behind?_

_He's not...really gone, right?_

Almost feverishly, Leo rifled through drawers of parts and plans, through shelves holding bottles of medicines and reference books. He touched everything he saw, as if the tactile memory would fill in the hole in his heart.

Along the back wall of the lab was a series of large cabinets labeled "Storage." But to Leo's surprise, after the first several held what he expected, the next was dated a specific range of months a few years prior.

Leonardo opened the cabinet to find nearly-identical copies of the armor the turtles had worn in the future with Cody, and the plans for the specialized weapons they had built as well.

The next held a modified version of the katana Karai had carried into battle against the Demon Shredder and a few anti-demon packs like what Doctor Chapman had used.

The third, though, caused him to step back with a gasp. For this cabinet held perfect recreations of the weapons and vests Donatello had designed to combat the creatures who had succumbed to the Outbreak Virus.

"Don," Leo whispered. He stretched out a hand, but flinched before he could touch his yellow gun and kit from those dark days.

The memory of mercilessly shooting at his own mindless, mutated brother, of making hit after hit with the tranquilizer darts, came back with screaming intensity.

Nobody had ever known that, after he had brought Donatello down and made sure he was safely installed in Bishop's containment unit, and after he had elicited a promise from every member of his family and Leatherhead not to leave Don's side, he had slipped away for a few minutes.

Long enough to find a janitor's closet and vomit into a bucket that smelled of bleach.

 _I shot my brother. I shot Don_. The thoughts had pounded through him and had brought wave upon wave of nausea.

Theoretically, Leonardo had understood when he accepted the mantle of chunin, of Heir to the Hamato Clan, that he would bear ultimate responsibility for his brothers. That their lives would be in his hands, that he might someday be called upon to sacrifice one to save the rest of the family.

But never had he imagined he would be forced to put his own brother down like a rabid dog.

It had taken him endless minutes until he had nothing left to retch and he could stop the hot tears that streamed from his eyes – only partly from the force of his vomiting. When he had pulled himself together, still trembling at the effort to put the memory of firing on his own brother to the side so he could focus, he had wrapped himself in his dedication to fix Don, no matter the price. To get his brother back even if it cost him his life.

That dedication had carried him into Foot Headquarters. If necessary, it would have carried him to the ends of the galaxy.

Now, just as alone and once again without Donatello, Leo found himself talking to the gun which seemed to stare at him accusingly.

"I was willing to do anything...challenge Bishop in his own base, take on Karai and the entire Foot Clan...to save Don. And he would have done the same for me. I never doubted that. How... _how_ could I have _forgotten_?"

A round of nausea gathered in his stomach, not from the old memory, but new pain.

"I...I let Mikey walk away from his family. I wasn't there to protect Raph in battle. I...I dishonored Master Splinter. And I...I pushed Don away. How could I...how could I have done that?"

It was like another nightmare, just as it had been when Don had been transformed. It _couldn't_ be real, could it? It _couldn't_ have happened.

He glanced around the lab he had never seen, shining and pristine and cold. Empty.

_It did happen. And Donatello is gone._

Leo just made it to the corner where he could see a bucket sitting beside a spongy mop. Once again, he found himself vomiting into the scent of bleach over his own failure and Donatello's suffering.

_What have I done? I sent Don away. I broke our family._

_If Donatello is hurt, or worse, it's all my fault._

-==OOO==-

Michelangelo waited until his other brothers were both out of range, Raph heading who-only-knew-where and Leo striding for, of all weird things, Don's lab.

Alone with their father, Mikey looked at Splinter and was almost afraid to ask, but asked anyway, "Do you think...I mean...is everything going to be okay ever again?"

Michelangelo watched Splinter reach down into himself and dredge up some courage for him – he saw the transformation in his Sensei's eyes of despair to an indulgent hope. And he wasn't sure if it comforted him, that his father could still be so brave for him when he was scared, or if he felt worse for dragging another burden into his father's broken heart.

"I believe...things will change, my son. After so much, it seems inevitable that we will never be precisely as we were before. But there is no reason to fear that our future will not still find us all together as a family in the end." Then the hope dimmed. "It may not be easy, however."

Mikey nodded. Then he returned to his knees.

Splinter's eyebrows went up. "Michelangelo?"

"I...I need to apologize."

"You have already done so, my son, extensively. I have already forgiven you."

"No, not that. Not because of all the stuff that happened after we got all warped and weird." Michelangelo dropped his head. "Sensei, I...I'm sorry. I didn't stay and take care of you when you were sick. I...I knew Raph wouldn't and I guessed Leo would be too busy and I...left you. And it wasn't because the dimension was messing with us because I did it right away and..."

Splinter reached down to put a paw on his son's shoulder and waited until Michelangelo raised his eyes. "I still forgive you, my son. We were all lost in the pressures of that other world from the very beginning."

"If by 'lost' you mean 'totally forgot everything important over some girl,' then yeah, but…" He gulped. "Leo told Donnie to go away and Raph beat the snot out of him. I was the only one who _completely forgot_ about him and everything else. I even had these dreams but I didn't...I mean..."

"Do not believe this is any reflection of your true feelings, Michelangelo. An illness may take different forms in its victims. What manifested in you towards Donatello was neither the contempt of Leonardo or the rage of Raphael."

"Yeah, but...if you look at it, we all kinda went to our worst sides, right? Leo went from a little stuck-up on a bad day to genuinely out-of-his-shell with judginess. And Raph's always been a rage monster one way or another; this just made him worse. And I'm...I'm just a screw up, aren't I? Blowing off everything until the last minute even when it does matter."

Splinter lowered himself to the ground so he could face Michelangelo evenly. "While there is some merit to your observation, I believe you may have missed an aspect of it."

"Huh?"

"Both Leonardo and Raphael are of the sort of disposition which points out error in others, yes? Whose instinct is to challenge the people in their lives, generally in the attempt to help one reach their true potential?"

"Uh, duh. Since they've been doing it to me since we _hatched_ I'm kinda familiar with it."

"But this is not your way, my son. You do not attempt to be anyone but who you are, nor do you ask it of others. While Leonardo drives himself to be a perfect leader and the rest of you to be an exceptional team, you are content. Where Raphael taunts and criticizes others and himself for not living up to his standards, you simply make a joke to dissolve any tension."

Mikey shrugged.

"It is a virtue to try to reach one's true potential, or to help others find their own, but it is also a virtue to accept one's limitations and instead focus on preserving the peace of the moment instead of the victory of the future. It is a role you fill instinctively amongst your brothers. And I believe it was this, and not indifference, that dictated your own failings in Usagi's world."

"So...because I'm usually cool about people doing their own thing, I just got really, really good at it?"

"Something like that." Splinter smiled as the lines of extreme guilt began to clear from his son's expression. "Of your brothers, only you did not cease to respect Donatello for not being like the rest of you. I would not call that being a 'screw up' as you say. It is admirable, and I imagine both your brothers would trade much for forgetfulness to be the worst of their mistakes right now."

Mikey let out a breath. "You're probably right about that." He fidgeted with his fingers. "Even when we do find Donnie, it's gonna take even longer for Raph and Leo to forgive themselves."

"I think so, too, my son. Which is why we must help them as much as we can."

Mikey nodded. "Okay, Sensei."

He moved to rise but Splinter held up a hand. "That said, when your own feelings become too great, do not try to bear them alone. That your burden is different may not always make it lighter."

Mikey's chest still felt hollow and cold, so he didn't bother to argue. He just nodded. Then he pushed to his feet.

"I'm gonna go figure out what supplies we have. Maybe I'll start breakfast or something. Lunch. Brunch. Whatever it is."

"A good thought, my son. Thank you."

Mikey wandered from Splinter's room out to the kitchen. He could hear the faintest sound of Raph being Raph and probably bruising his hands again somewhere, but he let it go. There were only two ways to deal with Raph in a snit if you were Michelangelo: hide or evade.

_Raph can talk to Don sometimes. And Leo sometimes. Or Casey._

_Only one out of three are even here, and Leo's not in any shape to deal, either._

_Don, wherever you are, we need you back for so many reasons right now, bro._

_But...if we hadn't made you go away...we wouldn't need you to come back._

Tears gathered and Mikey pushed them back as he focused instead on his self-appointed task.

Now that his head was clear of the weird delusions from the other world, he noticed things he'd simply ignored for the past three weeks. The kitchen was beautifully appointed, right out of a magazine almost (if that magazine catered to mutants whose hands were larger than a human's, which made everything from standard scissors to tiny cabinet-door handles impractical). Now that he was looking, Mikey couldn't help but wonder about the appropriately-sized doorknobs on every cabinet in the lair – could Don have hand-carved them?

_Of course he did. It's Don._

Mikey could almost picture his brother sitting at the kitchen table, patiently whittling away at blocks of wood probably with a complete mathematical formula to tell him how to size them.

_I bet if I went up to get Don's notebook, I would find his schematics. Don never does anything halfway if he can help it._

But it wasn't just the array of cabinets and counterspace, or the pristine appliances that Mikey noticed. It was a pad of paper stuck to the fridge and covered with Don's messy handwriting.

 _Supplies and Expiration Dates_.

Mikey had only glanced at it previous times in the kitchen, but now he looked at it more intently. It was a list, he realized, of every single foodstuff item in the lair, down to the box of salt and the carton of vinegar. Every item was listed along with its quantity and its expected expiration date, with notes when Don's estimate was different from what was written on the package.

_This can't be for him. Don would know all this stuff off the top of his head if he spent this much time setting it all up. Did he think Usagi would come by to make himself pancakes or something? Casey and April?_

He flipped through the pages, reading the extensive inventory of food and food-adjacent supplies that was stored throughout the lair.

_Who knew we even had a pantry? Wow. Make that a really super extra overstocked pantry. And that's smart – putting emergency rations in a bunch of places just in case we had to grab our Go Bags or if we got flooded or if we were cornered in the med bay or something. But there's enough dry and frozen stuff just in here to last us for months without going topside._

_Did he really think he'd need this much?_

And then it hit him.

_He left it for us. Just in case we ever came back, or if we needed it. Even if it was years later._

Something about that gesture, the desperate hopefulness of it against its bleak unlikeliness, tore the remaining heartstrings that hadn't frayed with Mikey's reading of Don's notebook.

Michelangelo leaned his head against the smooth, cool door of the refrigerator and wished it would swallow him.

_He thought about us every day. Every minute. He did all of this – everything – for us. After being ignored and hurt and thrown away like trash._

_And now he's gone. And I'm going to think about him every minute, too. But it's too late now._

Tears began to fall. This time Mikey let them go, but he angled them away from the precious stack of paper on the fridge below him.

_We did this. And if we ever get the chance, we'll...I'll find some way to make it up to you, Donnie. I promise. I swear._

_I'm sorry, Donnie. Please come back so I can tell you._

-==OOO==-

The next painful days were strange and silent throughout the lair. Once the three turtles regathered after Michelangelo made pancakes that smelled wonderful but tasted like sand in their mouths, they made a silent agreement to go forward as best they could.

No one mentioned Raph's cut and bleeding knuckles even when Master Splinter wordlessly took him aside to bandage them, either that day or the next few as they inexplicably became injured again and again.

No one reminded Leo that he didn't actually have to spend hours alone in the dojo after Splinter finished their formal practice, and no one intruded on his solitude when he closed the door behind him, no matter what they heard from within.

No one complained at Mikey for cooking meals to feed five and wasting food, and no one stopped him from wrapping up leftovers and piling them in the fridge as if saving them for someone.

Master Splinter eased their training and permitted Leonardo to go back to his own room to sleep, but he kept a sharp eye on them nonetheless. No one begrudged him, and the three turtles watched each other for signs of 'relapse' as well. But they seemed to have turned a corner in that one terrible night. If anything, their groundedness in their own dimension increased rather than faltering.

They started watching the news again, reacquainting themselves with their own world. Mikey found a small handful of comic books that hadn't been ported to Usagi's world – and realized with a pang that Don had gathered them for him – and rediscovered his love of drawing. Raph pulled his motorcycle, previously untouched in the center of his room, down to the workshop adjacent to Don's lab and started tweaking it. Leo started reading his books again on logic and tactics – though he could not read those of Sun Tzu or other authors who reminded him too strongly of the world that had almost absorbed him – and took to sitting in the middle of the lair where he could always see everyone.

And yet, the atmosphere was as fragile as the first ice on a pond, broken regularly when someone would suddenly _remember_ and would react either with sorrow or fury. When that happened, hugs or sparring were offered in about equal measure. And always Splinter was there to speak to his sons, to guide them in their grief.

But he could only do so much. The grief was as real as the emptiness where Donatello should have been.

Three weeks and five days from their return to the lair, a magical doorway opened.

Three turtles and one rat moved at pure ninja speed to face it. As they reached it, however, Leo held out his arms to block his brothers.

"Wait! Don't you feel it?"

And they did. Like a subsonic vibration, there was something that made them dizzy, lightheaded, almost feverish in proximity to the dimensional magic.

A wooden box emerged first, followed by a pair of white hands.

"Usagi!" Leo called.

The box was dropped and Raph quickly pulled it away as another took its place. As Usagi handed box after box through the doorway, the turtles filed themselves into a quick bucket-brigade to receive them and get them out of the way. But they were careful to keep their distance from the portal, and without even asking they swapped places every few boxes so nobody stayed too close to it for long.

"Shell. Did we really move this much stuff?" Raph whispered as he watched the pile of boxes grow.

"Most of it's mine," Mikey said sadly, handing over another plastic bin of comics.

"Only because you have the most stuff," Leo said, trying for unaffected. "Proportionally, we all pretty much moved out."

"Well now we're movin' back in and we ain't leavin' again!" Raph threw the next box with unnecessary force and almost toppled the whole pile.

Several minutes later and a small mountain of things transferred, Usagi stepped through the doorway with something in his arms.

"Klunk!" Mikey dove for his kitten who leaped from Usagi – though that might have been less kitty-joy and more attempting to get away from the samurai's iron grip.

"He is unharmed, Michelangelo-san," Usagi said. "Mitsu-san cared for him well, and her brother after her. She has also sent a letter." He gestured to the pack on his back. "As did many others."

Usagi looked around the family before him, his eyes landing on Splinter. "Greetings. It seems that time has done its work on behalf of your family, Master Splinter."

Splinter bowed. "It has. My sons have begun to truly return to themselves once more."

"That is excellent," Usagi said. "It relieves me greatly to hear it."

He bowed to the others. "I hope you will forgive me for helping to engineer your removal from my world, but I believe now you may see the reason why it was so necessary."

Leo and Raph returned the bow; Mikey was too busy cuddling his kitten and crooning to him.

"I...I owe you a huge apology, Usagi," Leonardo said, still bowing. "I...the way I acted…"

"It is nothing, my friend." Usagi actually smiled as Leo rose. "Our scales are balanced now that you are well again and truly the friend I have known."

Usagi pulled the pack on his back to the floor and opened it. "I have brought several messages from your other friends."

He pulled out a variety of items, from fine paper scrolls to squares of rough rice-paper and even a few pieces of coarse cloth with writing on them. He made four piles, though for Splinter there was only a single scroll of the finest paper and one of more moderate material. Leonardo had several messages, all on expensive paper, where Raph and Mikey had a mix of the commoners' materials. Raph's pile was by far the largest.

Raph looked at the set of correspondence, all from his band of warriors, and his face twisted in disgust. "I'm gonna read those later. Maybe."

Mikey glanced at his, mostly from the villagers he had known, and shuddered. The only one he picked up was the one printed with Mitsu's tiny handwriting.

"Mikey," Leo said, "are you sure you're ready for that?"

Michelangelo took a breath and closed his eyes. Then he opened it and nodded.

"Trust me, bro. Nothing she can say is worse than being here without Don."

He started to read while Usagi looked to the others. "Then you have not yet found him?"

"We don't even know where to start looking," Leo admitted with real bitterness. "We can't seem to reach April or Casey, and there's just...there's nothing here."

Usagi's face fell. "I am sorry, Leonardo-san. I had hoped for more."

"As did I," Splinter said. "However, we have our minds returned to us, and that is a great advantage. My son is alive and he is somewhere. There is nowhere we cannot find him."

"But we don't even know where to start looking!" Raph kicked the nearest box with all his strength, sending it skittering across the floor. "The Professor said he was takin' Don to the Utrom Homeworld. How the _shell_ are we supposed to find him there?"

"Even I do not know, Raphael. But we will find a way. You must have faith, my son."

Raph grunted and headed for the nearest punching bag.

Usagi turned back. "I wish there were more I could do for you, my friends."

"It's not your fault, Usagi. You've done more than we could have asked," Leo told him. "This is our mess. We're the ones who have to fix it."

"Come, Usagi. Let us offer you come tea." Splinter led the ronin towards the kitchen.

Leo leaned over Mikey's shoulder. "You sure you're okay?"

Mikey looked up and smiled. It didn't quite reach his eyes, but it wasn't wracked with pain, either. "Yeah. Mitsu's really happy now. She said she didn't have the heart to tell me that she was engaged and she's sorry because didn't want to hurt my feelings. But...I think I was the first friend she ever had who didn't treat her like she was a different kind of person just for being a girl. She seems to have more confidence than when I first met her. So that's good."

"That's very good, Mikey. I'm proud of you."

Raph wandered back over. "At least one good thing came outta being there."

"Yeah. Plus," and Mikey's smile shaded closer towards genuine, "can you imagine how hard finding Donnie would be if I had actually, like, married her? Talk about awkward! 'Sorry, Mitsu, I gotta leave you and go into outer space in another dimension. Good luck with the harvest!' Not exactly smooth."

"I think...I learned something similar," Leo said after a moment.

Raph nudged him. "Besides the obvious?"

The 'obvious' fact of Donatello's importance – of the entire family's importance – didn't need to be stated, so Leo just nodded.

"Yeah. I learned that it's really easy for me to get sucked in by the wrong thing. And look what happened. Oroku Saki almost got me, too, in the beginning. That it's easy for me to lose focus and get my priorities wrong. But I think...I'm not very likely to forget that I have to put our family first again. No matter what."

Raph nodded and made a half-smile. "Yeah. I don't think I'll ever forget it either. Ain't nothin' bigger than bein' brothers." He leaned down to poke Mikey in the head. "Not even girls."

Mikey grinned at him. "Yeah, I got that. Turtle shells before mademoiselles!" he cheered.

Raph raised an eye-ridge. "How long you been holdin' onto that one?"

Mikey shrugged. "About ten minutes."

"Doofus." Raph scruffed his head fondly.

-==OOO==-

Usagi stayed long enough to speak privately with Splinter for several minutes and to assure himself that all four of his friends were back to themselves, at least mostly. He could see the pain and worry that ran deep in them all, but that much was to be expected.

As he opened the doorway to return to his own world, he turned back to them.

"Please inform me when Donatello is returned to you. I have my own apologies to make to him. I only hope that he will be willing to hear them when the time comes."

Usagi's words stayed with Splinter into the evening. While his sons hauled boxes and unpacked with heavy hearts – and Raphael read all his letters and then burned them in the workshop while Leonardo and Michelangelo both tucked theirs away for safe-keeping – Splinter reflected upon something he had only barely dared consider.

_It is possible that the damage we have caused may be more severe than I realized._

_Our crimes against Donatello we now know to be the result of the effect of Usagi's world upon our minds. But if Donatello does not have such context for understanding…_

_...or if even that is not enough to excuse us…_

_...is it imaginable that Donatello might still not forgive us._

_No, I choose to believe he will. Donatello's heart is kind and generous. No matter our dishonorable treatment of him, I believe he would eventually offer forgiveness and absolve us of our cruelty._

_But that does not necessarily mean he would ever return to us._

_Usagi-san's doubt is valid. One may forgive a scorpion for stinging, but that does not mean one will invite the scorpion into one's pocket._

_I am not sure I have encountered many souls who would willingly return to us after such treatment were they in Donatello's position._

_And I do not know what he would choose._

_Would he forgive us but uphold his own banishment voluntarily?_

_Would he remain wherever he is now with the friends who did not desert him?_

_Would he abandon us as we abandoned him?_

A chill ran through Splinter's heart.

_Even I could not blame him if that is his choice._

_But I pray that it is not. For without Donatello, I fear that none of our hearts will ever truly heal._

-==OOO==-

Two days after Usagi's departure, Splinter spoke up after breakfast.

"I believe that all of us have finished overcoming the influence of the other dimension so long as we remain anchored here in this world. If you are ready to trust one another, I am prepared to release our home from lockdown that you might venture out once more."

Leo and Raph and Mikey exchanged identical glances. On the one hand, they were feeling pretty cooped-up in the lair without any ability to go topside or even out into the sewers – and they had to be pretty close to cabin fever to think the sewers were an improvement. But on the other hand, leaving now, one turtle short, it felt awful.

It felt like another abandonment all over again.

Before anyone could respond, there came a chirping noise from Don's lab.

The four seated around the table froze long enough to identify the sound in the silent lair before they bolted from the table and surged into the lab at top speed.

Leo had spent the most time in the lab by far, never telling anyone why, and he quickly traced the noise to the top drawer of Donatello's main computer desk. It was the one area he had not quite yet gathered the courage to explore in its entirety.

Leo froze with his hand above the drawer's handle, looking back to his family.

Raph growled. "Hurry up!"

Leo drew open the drawer and pulled out four brand new Shell Cells, smartphones rather than cell phones now.

One of them was ringing.

Leo's heart invaded his throat but he pushed the blinking button and held it – Donatello's universal switch to put a call on speaker-phone.

"Hello? Don?"

"April!" the three turtles yelled all at once.

"Leo? Raph? Mikey?" April's voice went breathless. "You're there? All of you?"

"We're here, April," Leo said. "We...we came home."

There was a long pause.

Then April started to cry.

Splinter snatched the phone from Leo's suddenly numb grip.

"Miss O'Neil, please allow me to apologize to you and to Mister Jones. Our behavior has been reprehensible and I am certain we have caused you no end of pain."

April sucked in a sharp breath. "Master Splinter, you have _no idea_. It was...like losing my parents all over again. And _Donnie_...even with everything with Casey's mom…"

"Where are you guys? What happened?" Raph asked, leaning in and shoving Mikey away. Mikey crawled under the desk from the far side to pop up where he could hear clearly, too.

"Don didn't tell you? Of course – he couldn't." Her voice went cold. "You weren't listening."

It was Mikey who found words in the stricken silence that followed.

"You're right, April. We weren't. And there's a _really_ long explanation, but...well, tell us yours first, okay? Please? We've been, like, _super_ worried."

April made a sound between a sniffle and a laugh.

"What do you want to hear about? What happened with Casey and me or what happened with Don?"

Leo took the phone back, his voice intent and focused.

"All of it. Everything. Anything that will help us get Don back."

"Are you really sure you want to know? It might...be painful to hear some of it."

Leo looked up and cast his eyes around the circle.

Splinter nodded, clearly braced for the worst and unafraid to continue.

Mikey gulped, but then gave Leo a slightly-shaky thumbs-up.

Raph's own eyes were burning with suppressed emotion, mixed rage and fear and sorrow, everything Leo himself was feeling with nothing holding it back.

Raph wordlessly reached out and gripped Leo's shoulder, anchoring them both. Then he stretched to hold onto Mikey's wrist as well.

Leo took a deep breath.

"Tell us, April. Please. We need to know."

He swallowed and when he spoke again, his voice rang with conviction, with a soul-deep vow that he would keep to the death if necessary.

"We're going to find Donnie and we're going to be a family again. No matter what."

* * *

-==OOO==-

End of Act 4

-==OOO==-


End file.
